Dog Gone

A dog leash hanging on a hook in a home without a dog immediately reveals the sadness a boy feels for the loss of the dog he has loved. Owen is not allowed to have a replacement dog because of his sister's allergy to dog fur. So his need to care for a dog is shown when he needs to save a dog being used to smuggle flawless stolen diamonds. The comic trio of crooks who want to secrete the diamonds enter the story. Although very discreet with the diamonds they have a conspicuous get-away car of pink and white with a backfiring exhaust. Then there is the mystique of a mad mountain man who we can't be too sure is just a figment of Own's imagination. We're yearning for the hermit's backstory but mention of him is kept to a minimum until his role in the story is revealed. A number of the characters in the film didn't really qualify as necessary and I could actually done without them. I say this because I was feeling fatigued towards the end of the film and would have welcomed a shorter running time. But it is a nice movie with some heart-warming moments between Owen and the dog which he names Diamond. The crooks have some funny moments, my first choice of which is the head of the gang Blackie disguised as a blind nun wearing lipstick.

Okay, I know that clearly this movie is aimed towards kids or whatever, but it's still a decent clean wholesome movie that's actually pretty funny, if you fast forward the annoying kid scenes; Kevin Farley and French Stewart shine in this movie. Clearly this movie wasn't meant to be taken seriously or watched in such a way. Frankly I wish they would have found a more likeable kid to play the main Star; make the movie almost unwatchable because of him, thus the reason why I give it 5 stars instead of the 10 stars that it clearly deserves. So, yes it has its moments and it's still a decent movie regardless. Just keep an open mind while watching it.

Whether you are a kid or the parent of a kid, chances are that when you watch "Dog Gone", you'll experience a severe case of deja-vu. Echoes of other movies - much better movies - will rear their heads throughout. The movie that it copies the most is "Home Alone", but this family movie also rips off "Caddyshack"! Maybe this rip-off could have worked, but unless you are a kid - a really REALLY little kid - this movie is tough to sit through. It's so broadly played by its cast that you can't get involved with the main protagonist and the dog that he cares about. It's also at times so badly directed and edited that it takes you a few seconds to realize what just happened. And I won't get into the bizarre casting of Garrett Morris as the town's police chief. As I said, maybe really little kids might like this movie, but come on parents, surely you can find something better to entertain your kids!

I would be proud of my child if they wrote this screenplay in high school. The fact that somebody is supporting their career with this is genuinely disturbing. It's loaded with Sandler levels of sophomoric humor, which I could do without - though there are plenty who eat it up and that's fine.

And yes, I get that it's a kids movie. But come on, there's more mental sustenance in a happy meal. If movies were food this would be the equivalent of serving Crisco, baking soda, sugar, and eggs and calling it chocolate chip cookies. It's missing some key ingredients, is nauseating to many, and revered by few.

This is one of the most stupid films I have ever seen.