Sacrementum

Since story-line porn is currently an endangered species, I try to give any new outlet a look-see, but Bare Maidens flunks out in this first volume of content compiled on DVD from its website.

The transfer from web to hardcopy was very sloppy, as a credited segment starring Gia Steel and Tony Rosano is missing, replaced somewhere along the line by an unidentified vignette starring Evan Stone. As usual, he hams it up miserably, styled as a Conan the Barbarian type but grunting and spouting unintelligible gibberish as if auditioning either for a Native American role of old or perhaps a porn remake of "Quest for Fire".

Stone has two young beauties to ravish, Miranda Miller and Jay Taylor. Miller goes uncredited, while Taylor is credited for her other segment.

In that one, very poorly scripted and directed, Xander Corvus plays a medieval lord out to dethrone the king, apparently being one of the lucky guys in succession. Aforementioned Rosano plays his helper named Feebles, and Steel shows up as a gypsy who gives him a special blue potion, apparently to be used on the king.

Xander humps Taylor, and pores over maps a lot, in this completely incoherent excuse for a vignette, which might as well have been all-sex cosplay, an insult to storytelling. Obviously Gia and Tony had a separate sex scene of their own, duly listed in the end credits (with his last name misspelled as "Resano"), but it got left on the website cutting room floor.

A scene of two assassins played by pretty Audrey Noir and a no-name bald lug credited as Wrex Oliver, has the set-up dialog cut so much as to make no sense at all, and the remaining "tutor humps student" segment featuring Eric John and Anya Olsen is merely an excercise in voice-over.

It all adds up to yet another lousy porn exercise pretending to be about story/characters but merely promoting the all-sex alternative.