The Black Demon

Some of you acting as if the Director kidnapped you, rinsed your savings account as a ticket fee, and Strapped you Clockwork Orange style to watch this 33,000 times on loop.

Ok list style, here we go.

1. The Kills: Pretty original, some offscreen. I mean how much excitement do you really expect from a 70 foot shark eating a person? Is it a Spielberg level event when you eat a single mini m&m? Grade B 2. The plot: It was alright. A small twist in it. I could see this having a different ending a few ways. Grade B 3. Acting: It was hit and miss. Possibly due to the writing. Don't even try to sell me that 50 shades would have been a better movie with Sir Anthony Hopkins in his Prime with Helen Mirin go cast. Actors can only do so much with the role. Grade C+ The wife, and Son are probably the most believable acting in this.

4. CGI SFX: B It was better than anything The Asylum ever did, but yes it's not the MEG and it's not Jaws and it doesn't have to be.

Over all grade with no Zach Galifianakis-Alan mathematical questions in a casino is a B + cause I like shake movies. To score an A though it's tough to come close to Jaws. Even Bruce the shark for all the issues looks like something you'd NEVER want to see in the open ocean.

This is definitely a movie of all time. It was so good that I had to write this review as I'm watching the movie. I'm literally sitting at the theater right now. My favorite moment was when the antagonist said "it's sharkin' time", an iconic line that nods to the classic Swedish film the seventh seal. Seeing the movie made me wish that I was in the movie, so I could be eaten alive instead of sitting through this amazing movie. I came because the guardians of the galaxy screening was cancelled, but I stayed because my wallet guilt tripped me into sitting through this godly creation. I especially loved how this movie made everyone look stupid, Americans, Mexicans, and even shark, this movie made me hate ethnic groups from every end of the spectrum.

Right, well of course I opted to sit down and watch the 2023 movie "The Black Demon", as I had the opportunity to do so. After all, I am a sucker for shark movies, despite the vast majority of shark movies being utter garbage. But I opted to give writers Carlos Cisco and Boise Esquerra's 2023 movie the benefit of the doubt.

And I mean, a shark movie with a megalodon, that has to be cool, right? Well, some movies with megalodons are, but just not this particular 2023 movie. Sure, I managed to sit through the entire movie, but I was not particularly entertained by the script and storyline that writers Carlos Cisco and Boise Esquerra had put together. It was just, hands down, a bit too silly and preachy.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Josh Lucas, Jorge A. Jimenez, Héctor Jiménez and Julio Cesar Cedillo. The acting performances in the movie were actually fair enough, despite the fact that the actors and actresses had very little of anything proper to work with.

Visually then "The Black Demon" was adequate. The megalodon was nicely enough rendered by CGI, though it wasn't really as much on the screen as I would have liked it to be, much less actually expected it to be with "The Black Demon" being a shark movie.

There are far better shark movies out there, and "The Black Demon" came and went without leaving as much as a ripple on the waters in which it swam and ultimately sank. This is not a movie that I will recommend you to rush out and get to watch. Nor is it a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of director Adrian Grunberg's 2023 movie "The Black Demon" lands on three out of ten stars.

Never judge a book by its cover. The poster makes you think you're going to see a creature feature with a cool monster shark eating people. But nope. It's just a 1 location C movie with a family on an oil rig.

The characters are entirely unlikeable, the acting is bad, there's constant preaching about how humans are destroying the planet, with about the same subtlety of some idiot gluing themselves to the street to save the weather.

The actual shark is in it for about... 20 seconds of screentime. If at all.

Worst of all, the film takes itself entirely seriously. If you don't have the budget (or talent) to make a serious drama, at least make it fun.

No fun to be had here. It's just bad.

Aw, come on. It's not that bad! It's just a poor cousin of one of the "Meg" movies, only with Josh Lucas trying to save the day rather than Jason Statham. He finds himself and his family trapped on a dilapidated oil rig off Baja, where they discover that a creature with a fin the size of a tennis court is marauding and it's peckish. Once safely ensconced on the installation, "Paul" discovers that most of the crew have skedaddled and those left are petrified of our huge great sea beastie. Worse still, they believe it has been sent by their gods as retribution for their plundering of the natural resources - and that they are all going to be tomorrow's ambergris. Now, to be fair to this CGI-fest, the ending is not quite as you might expect but the fact that the great fish seems huge enough to eat a bus at one stage then scared off by being kicked by a small child doesn't do too much for the credibility of this really, really quite sad indictment of where this once A-list actor has toppled to over the last decade. It hasn't really an original bone in any of it's bodies and it really is forgettable stuff that almost made me wish that I was the guy in the poster...