Don't Suck

The premise was interesting and that's about it. I don't know what was harder to believe Matt Rife is a Vampire or Jamie Kennedy is a Comedian. It seems like somone was just anxious to make a movie with Matt Rufe while his comedy is popular. If this was a you tube short it could have been better. As a full movie it's about as drawn out as this review trying to fill in enough characters to post my orginal statement about Jamie Kennedy not being funny. My boy hasn't changed his humor up since Malibu Most Wanted. Coming from an 80s baby that grew up with Bro Comedy rife with Fart and Dick jokes, it's just not funny anymore.

This vanity project does one thing right, it proves Matt rife will never lead a real movie. Rife's acting is somehow worse than his crowd work and the plastic surgeries aren't helping. Jamie Kennedy sleep walks through the movie as well, reminding everyone why we don't see him very often in 2023. The jokes are weak, the film stars two comedians and is very light on any comedy. Rife's English accent is hilarious, it comes and goes and will fade during a single sentence. If you find Rife's comedy to be painfully unfunny, at least this movie is a little bit better. If "Renfield" is too scary or intelligent for you, this will definitely help put you to sleep. Watch with cocktails or other substances, it could possibly make it more enjoyable.

This movie had no idea what it wanted to be. It started as a semi dark, quirky comedy. It wasn't funny exactly, but it was light hearted enough to keep me watching. Then it morphed into a dreary drama about relationships, cherishing the time you have and the people you're with, all while wasting what little good will they earned in the first half.

Nobody was actually funny, not that it mattered because every single person on screen was sleepwalking through their part. Rife was playing an undead being incapable of emotion so that was pretty much bang on.

Jamie Kennedy was mostly annoying. When he wasn't being not funny on stage, he was being shrill and/or morose off stage.

I gave it a 3 and that's probably a bit to high but I'm feeling especially generous today.

Ok yes I wanted to see this movie just because of Matt Rife and yes he is hot and yes he is cute but I did not watch this movie just for his eyes and smile. He actually played the role with heart and soul, And his humor was actually funny.

Also I enjoyed Jamie Kennedy in this movie. He made me laugh so hard my lungs were really killing me. I have not seen him in a movie in a while. I am glad he got to do a movie with a younger comedian. It's not often comedians have great acting together. They both matched up really well.

Also I really enjoyed the actress Ellen Hollman. I thought she played a cool character in this movie.

This is...so bad. Didn't laugh at all, in fact I cringed more than I laughed. Matt Rife's "acting" was horrible. I guess the only thing he has going for himself is that he is pale enough to be a vampire. A few washed up actors with bad acting, no good jokes. Highly recommend not watching this and instead watching a ~good~ vampire movie/show lol go check out Nick Cage's new vampire movie because even though it wasn't the best thing in the world, it was still a thousand times better than this.

Overall, please don't waste your time watching this. Watch something better. Let's please stop giving Matt Rife jobs.