Don't Suck

This vanity project does one thing right, it proves Matt rife will never lead a real movie. Rife's acting is somehow worse than his crowd work and the plastic surgeries aren't helping. Jamie Kennedy sleep walks through the movie as well, reminding everyone why we don't see him very often in 2023. The jokes are weak, the film stars two comedians and is very light on any comedy. Rife's English accent is hilarious, it comes and goes and will fade during a single sentence. If you find Rife's comedy to be painfully unfunny, at least this movie is a little bit better. If "Renfield" is too scary or intelligent for you, this will definitely help put you to sleep. Watch with cocktails or other substances, it could possibly make it more enjoyable.

When I sat down to watch the 2023 comedy "Don't Suck", I had never actually heard about it. And I hadn't read the synopsis, but given the movie's cover, I did assume that I was in for a vampire movie.

However, I must say that the storyline in the movie turned out to be way more entertaining and enjoyable than I had anticipated. I figured I was in for something in the likes of a spoof or farce on the likes of "Twilight" and such, given the movie's cover. However, writer Rick D'Elia proved to come up with a rather nicely written comedy script that combined elements of living on the road as a stand-up comedian and vampire movies. There was just something that worked about quite nicely.

And I must say that I wasn't figuring that Jamie Kennedy would muster anything grand here, but I was pleasantly surprised with his performance as the down-on-his-luck-aging-comedian Pete. And I wasn't familiar with his co-star Matt Rife, playing Ethan the vampire, but he definitely put on a memorable and good performance as well. It should definitely be noted that teaming up Jamie Kennedy alongside with Matt Rife was a good choice, because they had a great on-screen chemistry.

I wasn't familiar with the majority of the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Jamie Kennedy and Russell Peters. But I will say that the cast in general did put on good performances in bringing their characters to life on the screen.

If you enjoy odd comedies, then "Don't Suck" is a movie that is well-worth sitting down and checking out. I was genuinely surprised with the script that Rick D'Elia gave director RJ Collins to bring to the script. And I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the 100 minutes that the movie ran for.

My rating of "Don't Suck" lands on a six out of ten stars.

The premise was interesting and that's about it. I don't know what was harder to believe Matt Rife is a Vampire or Jamie Kennedy is a Comedian. It seems like somone was just anxious to make a movie with Matt Rufe while his comedy is popular. If this was a you tube short it could have been better. As a full movie it's about as drawn out as this review trying to fill in enough characters to post my orginal statement about Jamie Kennedy not being funny. My boy hasn't changed his humor up since Malibu Most Wanted. Coming from an 80s baby that grew up with Bro Comedy rife with Fart and Dick jokes, it's just not funny anymore.

This movie had no idea what it wanted to be. It started as a semi dark, quirky comedy. It wasn't funny exactly, but it was light hearted enough to keep me watching. Then it morphed into a dreary drama about relationships, cherishing the time you have and the people you're with, all while wasting what little good will they earned in the first half.

Nobody was actually funny, not that it mattered because every single person on screen was sleepwalking through their part. Rife was playing an undead being incapable of emotion so that was pretty much bang on.

Jamie Kennedy was mostly annoying. When he wasn't being not funny on stage, he was being shrill and/or morose off stage.

I gave it a 3 and that's probably a bit to high but I'm feeling especially generous today.

After seeing it's rating...I expected worse.

But it's not without it's faults.

The story revolves around a washed up comedian (played by Jamie Kennedy) who tries to rekindle his career by accepting a gig touring with a not-so-young up and comer (played by Matt Rife).

The young wannabe comic employs a dry shtick where he plays on being an ancient- yet ageless- vampire.

However, he's having a hard time connecting with the audience.

So he brings on Kennedy's character with the hope that he can get some tips on how to become a better comedian.

Promising to fund the entire endeavour, himself.

Only to reveal the truth behind the facade.

The whole thing is rather mediocre.

If only because Rife's portrayal of the vampire character is rather insufferable.

The rest of the cast actually do an excellent job, though.

Why many people didn't like it is obvious, however.

Because it comes off less a comedy than it does a drama.

Which is something I blame the writers for.

Because, where they had an oppourtunity to insert comedy into the script...they seem to glance over them, in order to focus on driving the dramatic aspect of the story forward.

Which is an odd decision.

Because there's not enough comedy to appease viewers who tuned in for some laughs.

And there's not enough gore to satiate those expecting a pure horror.

Making it completely reliant on winning people over with the drama.

Which is a mistake in my opinion.

Especially considering Rife does such an awful job.

His terrible performance aside...it's not totally horrible.

Just very slow and dry.

Which is not something you would expect from a film that features such well known comics.

Thus, it's not particularly great.

So, you can't blame people for thinking it does, in fact, suck.

Because, in the end...it really is quite mediocre.

2 out of 10.