Mega Monster Movie

It is Halloween; this is the time one should be watching Die Peanuts - Der große Kürbis (1966) or at worst Arsen und Spitzenhäubchen (1944). But no, you are about to choose "Stan Helsing" (2009).

Stan (Steve Howey) who is out to make a movie gets stranded in a sort of Halloween Twilight Zone. There they are confronted by all the biggest slashers of the time. Makes you want to up-Chucky unless you are a Freddy-defender. It can be mockingly funny.

You will need to be well versed in a plethora of movies to be aware of all the joke references. Some of the movies: Species: The Awakening (2007) Shutter (2008) King Kong (2005) The Notebook (2004) Freddy vs. Jason (2003) The Blair Witch Project (1999) The Sixth Sense (1999) Saving Private Ryan (1998) How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) Titanic (1997) Stargate SG-1 (1997) Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Schindler's List (1993) The Hills Have Eyes (1977) The Last House on the Left (1972) The Munsters (1964) The Wolf Man (1941) Frankenstein (1931)

This is one of those movies that can go either way. I think that they tried too hard to be campy. Luckily Leslie Nielsen could pull off his character without breaking a sweat.

I'm going to say I like it. Don"t get me wrong its a bad movie but it doesn't mean its not enjoyable. Its not to much like Meet the Spartans or date movie were they parody scenes from the movie they parody and make them stupid. They did do that with the monsters by making them look like morons and give them really dumb names but beside that they do have some funny scenes and dialog. And they do try to make the a bit like the people they are base off of. Like when they use their weakness is like what fans made fun of the real people they copied. To defeat Freddy get rid of his glove. Pinhead push the nails in. The mask think with Jason and Myers is not their weakness but it showed how similar they are and that Jason was a ripoff of Myers. Leatherface wait till his chainsaw runs out of gas. And Chucky he is a doll. If you missed that then you have no business making fun of this movie. And the other main characters I thought was a good casting choice and they were really funny. Finally they didn't a a truck load of over the top reality breaking jokes. They have those but its more down played. I'm just saying rethink this one.

Stan Helsing, a video clerk for a certain video chain store, is ready for a Halloween party with three of his closest friends. But before the party, he has been asked to deliver a bag full of movies to the store's manager, who lives in a gated community. What lies beyond the gate: karaoke, monsters and gay porn studios. This is going to be a long night.

Let me be blunt, when you tell me a film is coming from the same people, or the same sort of people who brought us "Scary Movie", "Date Movie", "Disaster Movie" and so on... I'm inclined to believe this is one more film that was a waste of time for the actors, a waste of money to make, and a waste of brain cells for anyone who watches it. Mysteriously, despite this bias, I enjoyed "Stan Helsing".

Sure, the humor is juvenile, revolving almost entirely around hookers, strippers, porn and the same gratuitous sex that we've come to expect since at least "American Pie" (you can say such humor dates back at least to "Porky's", but don't tell me that the new wave of it has any wit behind the smut). Somehow, with my mind turned off and my stomach full of Corby's brand whiskey, I found this film humorous and enjoyable from the first five minutes.

It has some disappointments. The monsters are such a minor part of the plot, sadly, and even Leslie Neilson has a role that isn't as funny as it should be. But such simple jokes as the porn title spoofs got me laughing ("Glad He Ate Her"? Classic) and I don't mind a few gorgeous women on my screen from time to time.

But as I say, if you're looking for a clever monster spoof, it's not here. The monsters sing a karaoke song, but their origins are not explained and they have maybe ten to fifteen minutes of screen time, contrary to what it would appear by the cover. But if you like dumb humor, like "Dude, Where's My Car?", this would be worth your time... especially with a friend and a bottle of Feckin Irish whiskey.

Its rare that I actually despise a movie as much as this one. Now before you say I am coming down too hard on this movie...if you don't believe me just watch it. The movie starts out 'ok' like a decent rip off of Scary Movie; however, it quickly descends into a downward whirlpool of bad acting, poor direction and a plot that makes little sense.

Basically this movie is a spoof on horror movies. There were a few parts where I laughed- near the beginning, but after that it seems as though the film budget ran out of money or something because after the halfway point it completely looses direction. I kept expecting a story to develop or some kind of back history on 'Van Helsing' to appear. It didn't. The characters are poorly written...and even with the comedic assistance of Leslie Neilson it still flops hardcore.

Leslie Neilson must be really hard up for acting spots to have taken a spot in this stinker. My recommendation is that you don't watch this one....in fact don't even rent it. Its really that bad.

You can easily compare this to the greats like Date Movie and Disaster Movie and everything by Aaron Seltzer! Bo Zenga is another addition to the "well it sounded good when we threw it around the idea table" club. Of course how can you expect much when one of his last pictures was the comedic gem Soul Plane. If your one of those people who hate that someone close to you drinks too much get back at them by playing the drinking game to this movie. It's simple the rules are you drink every time something funny actually happens in the film. This film is guaranteed to leave you sober. However i can't guarantee you both won't drink yourself silly to try and forget the movie you just watched.

Bottom Line folks, i wasted an hour and a half of my life so you won't have to.