Project Legion

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that is so bad, it literally is painful to watch. Project Legion is THAT kind of movie.

I actually forced myself to get through this pile of garbage (albeit in two separate sittings) just so I can see how bad it could get. And it spiraled downward into toilet level movie making. Project Legion is beyond terrible in every way imaginable. The acting is horrible. The editing is even worse. The story line makes absolutely no sense.

Honestly, this movie deserves ZERO stars. But since that's not an option, I begrudgingly gave it one. Anyone associated with this movie needs to have their head examined. Maybe I should too since I sat through the whole thing.

A hardened soldier wakes up to some catastrophe. As someone bangs on his door he acts more like a confused yuppy who figures hollering through the door will scare the door knocker away. Many errors in the movie make this a bonafide garbage fire. Lights flickering on and off yet TV stays on. Laptop shows white noise as a tv would. Plays a multiple voicemails on his phone. While listening to them he literally screams into the phone HELLO multiple times. The director needs to rethink his career choices if this is the garbage he is going to put out. The only thing scary about this movie is I wasted time watching it.

This review hurts to write being that I'm a HUGE fan of Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone as a fighter. I've personally met him and he is an awesome down to earth guy.

Unfortunately his acting in this film as hard to watch. Although I'm sure it doesn't help that the storyline, script and production are all absolute trash.

Immediately you can tell the production quality is low... which would be fine if the story made any sense at all. Everything in this film seems forced and cringey.

As I said this it hurts me to write such a terrible review when it comes to the infamous Cowboys Cerrone.... But not nearly as much as it hurt to watch that movie.

If you are able to make it all the way through this film. God bless you... and may god have mercy on your soul.

This is one of those afterparty 2 AM "hey, let's all get high and make a movie" ideas. Normally everyone sobers up the next day and the idea is forgotten. Not this lot.

First they wrote the script:

An apartment. A guy is inside. The door is closed. Guy yells at door. The end.

Then they held a casting call:

"I put the people with talent in room A and everyone who couldn't act in room B." "Uh oh, I just sent everyone in room A home." "That leaves us with someone named Cowboy, a former Playboy Playmate with more miles on her than Greyhound, and a woman best filmed in a really dark hallway." "Good enough."

Then they chose a director:

"You do it!" "No, you do it!" "Fine, I'll do it. What's a director do anyway?"

Then they chose a location:

"I know an abandoned mental institution with a giant exhaust fan at the end of the hall." "Perfect!" "Really?"

Then they started filming:

"We only have the camera for one day. Everyone try to arrive by 9 AM." "And... cut! Good job everyone. Let's grab an early lunch."

Into the editing room:

"Uh oh, the video software license expired." "We only had just enough film anyway."

And release:

"How much do we have left over from the $1000 we raised?"

Unwatchable. Three stars.

Of course you know it's not going to be a classic when your lead actor is a retired MMA fighter. Donald Cerrone is a bad actor and has no on screen charisma whatsoever. Watching his "I am Legend" routine is like watching a crackhead suffering from paranoid delusional schizophrenia episodses hide out in a cockroach infested motel room for an hour. Everything about this movie is crumby. It's a lame story with lame action and lame suspense and a lame plot. You could probably make a better movie with a bunch of your friends having a party in any roadside flea ridden desert motel room and using your own cell phone as a movie camera. This trash film is seriously that poorly made. 2 Stars for the Hilarious effort and a couple of chuckles, watching this dumpster fire of a video unfold into the abyss of Nothingness.