The Mistress - Für Immer Vereint

Most boring newlyweds move into a unique Victorian house, and yes, you guessed it, it's haunted by boring normcores who conveniently are vintage collectors and costume designers to fit perfectly into the tropes needed for the script.

Oh, we found a plate camera in the attic. Let me go and develop the film in my expensive little cellar and print some unprintable pictures from 1895 for you, you know, I love old crinkets! Wow, I was able to obtain a solid image from the 120 year old plate and look! I wonder who this lady is... And the movie unravels below expectations.

The best characters in the movie were Dawn, her boyfriend, and Rimbaud, the dog. Parker needs to get some backbone and acting classes.

I've watched a lot of bad indie horror. Terrible indie horror even. I can tolerate a lot - bad effects, lousy acting, bad dialogue...all forgiveable. Boring, however, is another matter altogether. That brings us to The Mistress, a movie that makes the lamest Lifetime movie seem thrilling and fresh. It would be impossible to include any spoilers in this review as there is virtually nothing to spoil. Even the "big twist" that I'm certain the screenwriter was very proud of is telegraphed for most of the excruciatingly long runtime. I could imagine what sort of horrible torture I would have to be threatened with that could get me to sit through this again.

I almost didn't watch this because of the laughably low rating and bad reviews. But I thought I'd try it out, and if it was horrible I'd just turn it off.

I must have watched a different film than others. I found it to be really interesting, engaging, and creepy (even though I suspected the "twist" long before it was revealed). The mood and music were very Hitchockian. The sets and cinematography were very well done. I even appreciated how the title sequence had a kind of 70s/early 80s/vintage vibe to it that matched the warm SoCal setting.

There were a couple of scenes here and there that were a little too dark (like, I couldn't make out what I was looking at), but not enough to make me feel frustrated with the movie overall.

And again, even though I was pretty sure there was going to be a twist of some sort, I was interested in everything that was unfolding.

I found the acting to be quite good, too. I mean, not Oscar-level or anything, but certainly good enough that I wasn't rolling my eyes at any time. Even the characters that seemed a little cheesy reminded me of ACTUAL people I know who are a little cheesy, so they still felt believable. (It was NOT "Lifetime movie" style acting in my opinion!)

I'm not sure I would actually rate it a 9/10 -- maybe more like a 7. A good movie but one that I probably won't go around telling everyone to watch. Still, I'm giving it a 9 in the hopes of boosting its overall rating so people don't just skip over it like I almost did, because I DID think it was worth my time to watch.

Honestly, with all the tripe on streaming these days, this one is a LOT better than most! The VERY final scene, in fact, hinted that there might have been yet another layer I missed on the first watching, so I might give this one another go around and who knows... I may start telling everyone to watch it, lol.

No pun intended - this really goes deep diving into quite a few cliches. One of them being the coming and staying in a house that had quite a lot of problems and issues. There is some horror history or rather past to it ... I do wonder if the people going into this should not reconsider. Same goes for anyone who might have it in for me - that's what I am kind of thinking when reviews go awol ... but here we are.

But they act like every other horror family heading to their doom ... or are they? Well you have to watch the movie to find out of course. I thought the movie did a few clever things. You may know where it is heading and maybe can even guess a major twist - but even if you do I feel the movie is strong enough to work on its merits. It is not superb or awesome or whatever ... but it is more than decent ... especially if you are into horror movies. Acting is also quite nice to say the least.

Zero chemistry boring newlyweds move into their new house even tho they don't seem to know each other or share the same plans for their future at all. Meh...

They discover a picture and a collection of 100-year-old letters from a woman who committed suicide after being abandoned by the old owner of the home...

I now what you're thinking... I've seen this all before! Yes, yes you did. Only this time you can watch it in a below average production. Long story short, the movie is unwatchable. A TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

Bad everything> script, acting, pacing. Cinematography and music is awful. The end result is a generic bad movie that is no way bad enough to be unintentionally entertaining or funny.

No spoilers because you already know how will it end. SKIP IT. Save yourself!