The Son

Just a bit of research into the works of writer, playwright, director Florian Zeller gave me the information that the he has made a trilogy namely " The mother" ( stage play) a decade back and two movies " The father " and " The son" recently. While I have not seen the play, I found "The father" an excellent movie embellished with the outstanding performance of Sir Anthony Hopkins for which he got the much deserved Oscar award. This movie too is first rate ( but not without its flaws) and has some good acting of Hugh Jackman and Laura Dern with a bonus of a cameo of Anthony Hopkins as the grandfather. Some critics and reviewers have said unkind words about this movie since they found it too bleak and schmaltzy and have also criticized the acting. Not fair really because the subject demanded sentimentality, poignancy and pensiveness. The main characters are the father ( Hugh), the ex wife ( Laura Dern), their 17 year old son ( Zen McGrath) and the present wife ( Venessa Kirby). The son is traumatized by his parent's divorce, he is in acute depression and moves in to live with the father but he is not able to stabilise causing misery to all. He blames his father for divorcing his mom.

Director Florian builds up a charged atmosphere with some heart wrenching scenes as the parents try to get the son to normalise and fit in the family. Those familiar with or knowledgeable on mental health issues may find fault with some points of the narrative specially the apparent inaction by the parents on a few obvious red flags. While most scenes are moving, some may find them cringe worthy and off putting. Actingwise Hugh has put up a good performance showing a father's remorse and guilt. Laura is good as usual and on familiar turf as the distraught mother, a role she has done earlier. Teenager Zen has done well considering his age and experience. I thought he projected the pain, confusion, distress and bitterness very well. There is a beautifully crafted and enacted scene between Hugh and Anthony Hopkins as father and son. The background music enhances the dramatic effect.

I'll address the first thing that I see on the negative reviews: Zen McGrath as Nicholas does not "sell" it. I thought the same thing as I was watching the movie, he never brought me in, he was hard to read, he had a smirk that threw me off, a little smile that was hard to decipher, he seemed sarcastic and out of it, I never felt his pain... but after days of thinking about this film this is what I realized:

Teenage kids are hard to read.

That is the whole point.

I am a parent of a 15 year old boy and this movie shook me to my core. It really did. The parents couldn't read the boy (much like I feel most of the time), they went with what they saw from him and trusted that gut feeling vs what professionals were telling them, they trusted the memories they had as though those represented who the boy was now, they trusted their own desire for things to normalize, they trusted the good moments, they went with the unmistakable desire that "things will be ok". They let those desires take the wheel.

This is Hugh Jackman's best performance to date as a parent desperate for things to be ok as he dealt with his own issues of being a son himself, he wanted to avoid being a monster... not realizing that being a friend wasn't the solution.

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The script seemed choppy and not believable, especially in the beginning; I had that feeling where you're acutely aware that they are actors doing a scene. More importantly, the film needed a much, much better actor to play Nicholas, someone who could do the role greater justice especially with Hugh Jackman as the lead. The film did touch on some very important themes including the pain and mourning that can come from divorce, especially for children, and also of course the difficulty of trying to understand and help a loved one with depression. The film felt a little long and drawn out, but had a very emotional and impactful ending that made it worth it.

My 17 year old done committed suicide 3 years ago. The storyline matches my experience almost exactly. Although I'm hard working, not all hard working fathers are from wealthy backgrounds or high powered jobs. Suicide can happen to any family. The exasperation depicted by the parents was spot on. Hugh Jackman's character tried kind dad, understanding dad, hard dad etc. As I did (with help from parental counselling). I saw bad reviews of the sons acting. Totally disagree - he said little, went for long walks, avoided school in exactly the same way my son did and he totally looked the part. The story was very well researched. The doctors line "sometimes love is not enough" said much. The son pleading to leave hospital was him pleading to die. The happiness in the moments before suicide was the happiness of escaping pain. I've seen it. Mental health remains so poorly understood, and it likely always will. But the signs of suicide I've since learnt can follow a pattern. The film captures it all. Top marks for having the courage to make this film and for sure it's not for everyone. Finally, I saw a review saying Jackman's character was failing badly as a father. I've talked now to many people whose family had experienced suicide. And all did their best. I'd stick up for all of them.

It felt personal somehow, when thinking of myself in all their places. It is so hard and devastating. I sometimes see that look in my father's eyes, and sometimes in my mother's or my sister's, sometimes I have these mixed feelings and the deep conviction that I don't desire to keep on living, but I don't know how anyone else can survive this, anyone else that's similar to Nicholas. Such a real and painful movie. I don't know why it touched me so deep, and why it made me cry so hard, it felt too personal. And it makes you think, what can anyone do really? What can we do, and is it anyone's fault?