Jade

I hadn't heard about this 2024 action thriller titled "Jade" prior to sitting down and watching it. So I didn't really know what I was in for, nor did I really have any expectations to the movie. And that ultimately meant that director James Bamford had every opportunity to entertain and bedazzle me.

However, I am a bit perplexed how it managed for three writers to churn out something as forgettable and bland as "Jade" turned out to be. Writers Lynn Colliar, Glenn Ennis and James Bamford collectively managed to put together a script and storyline that left me with an overwhelming sense of 'was that really it?' when the movie came to an end. Throughout the course of the 88 minutes that the movie ran for there weren't really any ups and downs, despite of the writers trying to put together a thrilling storyline. But the end result was just a rather bland, forgettable and somewhat pointless movie experience.

The acting performances in the movie weren't impressive either, not even with the likes of Mark Dacascos in a support role, as he had nothing much to work with. I wasn't familiar with leading actress Shaina West, but that particular hairstyle she sported for the movie just didn't really fare well on the screen, as it was difficult to look past it. And then there was Mickey Rourke whom looked like he was just melting a little bit more with each second spent in front of the camera.

There was a fair amount of action throughout the course of the movie and a fair share amount of violence, and that alone is the reason while it was semi-bearable to sit through 88 minutes of bland storytelling.

If you enjoy action thrillers then your money, time and effort is definitely better spent elsewhere, because "Jade" just didn't cut it. It was not an entertaining movie, and it is a movie that will never find its way back to my screen a second time. And come tomorrow I am sure that it will have faded from memory.

My rating of "Jade" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.

Not a terrible movie, great fight scenes and choreography in them, nice to see Micky Rourke still has his style. Shania is awesome in her role as the feisty talented keeper of the "drive". She is absolutely beautiful, her physique alone watching her walk and fight and just stand still is such a turn on. She has nice abs and her huge Afro is amazing but because it's so huge it can be a way to make it very hard to hide. This movie is all about a mysterious hard drive which we have no idea what is on it or why all these thugs want it, but on goes the fights, killings, swordplay and a LOT of gore and extreme violence, some foul language, one questionable scene where two girls make out, no nudity ( I wish) would love to see Shania nude. Other than that it's an "OK" watch but it's basically just a bunch of stunt actors made a movie together with a very cute girl.

If you're someone who requires useful things like a cohesive plot, subtext, well written dialogue, or a supporting cast who puts some effort into reading their lines, then this is NOT the movie for you. This is one of those movies that looks the stunt performers got together and decided to make their own movie, without all those annoying lead actors getting in their way. I love this type of movie. What little there is of a story is just there to get you from one exhibition of Shaina West's skills to the next, and she doesn't disappoint. Think of it as a veg out movie, just turn your brain off for a while and enjoy the action.

Honestly this movie is something like a video game with the music and quests in between the fights. The impeccable female lead and storyline is amazing for a production that doesn't cost over millions of dollars. This is a lowkey movie if you are really into action! Shaina West is super hot and plus she does all her own stunts, making her incredible talented actress truthfully. The only con of this is I wish we heard more of her story and why her brother and her was in different gangs to began with. She's like a 5'4 ish Afro-ninja black widow. Best scene hand down is when she killed a thug with her pick ngl.

Londoner Shaina West has an interesting backstory. After getting injured in a motorcycle accident, finding life at a low ebb. She turned it around by taking up martial arts and became a stuntwoman.

Jade is an attempt to showcase Shaina West as an action star. The film is directed by James Bamford, himself a former stuntman and stunt coordinator.

The anime style opening credits really riffs on West's nickname as The Samurider. She plays the titled character Jade whose afro wig is bigger than her waist.

Jade sports a cockney accent and is abducted by some goons sent by gangster Tork (Mickey Rourke.) He wants a hard drive and has already killed Jade's brother.

She will be next but Jade manages to escape after a Brad Pitt lookalike gets careless.

The story is a third rate low budget Robert Rodriguez/Tarantino noirish Sin City type of action thriller, with some cartoonish humour.

It benefits from plenty of action scenes. Unfortunately some of them are badly staged with too many gimmicks. Why does Jade shoot a baddie repeatedly when she could had sliced him in half with a Samurai sword?

The ending makes little sense. It leads to a big boss fight but then leaves the villain intact with some redundant twists.

There is scope for more Jade movies but it will need to be better directed. West also needs to become a stronger actress.