The Blue Rose

Well, that was a waste of my precious time. Neither my boyfriend nor I had an idea of what was going on. The film looks so cheap and bad. Psychopathic, has no main character, has no plot. Now that the film is finally over, I feel like I've lost all my brain cells, I'm annoyed and just overall disgusted. Literally, I have no idea what I just watched. The rest of the 20 minutes that was left of the movie, we skipped over half of it, not even sure what the ending meant, or the beginning. I am just hoping that I don't dream of this crap tonight and that I forget about it as soon as possible. Gosh..

Somewhat David Lynch-esque movie that starts off with a girl on a very small stage putting soil in a flowerpot and watering it. Then a very poorly rendered CGI blue rose grows before our eyes.

The female leads can't act. But then virtually none of the actors can. Including the t-girl they threw in to check a box. There is nothing behind this movie except for the stylization. The makers seem to have put a lot of time and effort to make the movie LOOK interesting and no time or effort put in writing a coherent script or getting people who can act to be in it.

Hence, what I just watched is a mystery. And a boring one at that. In the least they could have thrown in some hot nudity to keep out interest, but NNNNoooooooo!!!!!

Oh, and if you blink, you miss Ray Wise.

The Blue Rose is a new favorite of mine. I found the vision the director and his crew created, enticing and very well crafted. The main leads are rock solid, as well as the photo and sound of the film. I am not the one to love investigative narratives, but this one had my glued on the screen. Great pacing, made me feel lots of strange emotions (I value this the most on film) and am glad this film exists. I can see influences of Lynch, Gregg Araki and noir comics been part of this creation, but The Blue Rose is much more than it's influences, it is perhaps, the first film of a great newcomer talent.

David Lynch must be spinning in his grave to know that his name has been associated with this pretentious crapfest. The takeaway for anyone watching this steaming pile is "just because you can do aomething, doesn't mean you should do it."

Let's start by not casting two scrawny teen nerds as detectives. And let's not assume that anything weird is automatically fascinating, especially if the "surreal" dream imagery is lit like a bad TV movie.

Don't surround your badly cast, chew-up-the scenery actors with sets that look like they were made for a high school play, and don't rely on corny period music to supply "atmosphere."

Finally, don't opt for a period piece if you don't have a clue about the era. Otherwise you'll end up with anachronistically tattooed ladies, laughably inappropriate wokeness, and a nurse's hat that looks like it was made from half of a Starbucks coffee cup.

The Blue Rose gives new meaning to the word "embarrassment." But if you've never seen a film by Lynch, Fellini or Jodorowsky and your favorite literary genre is fan fiction, it might be right up your alley.

Absolutely horrendous film in that style where, if nobody knows how to act, then everyone is a good actor. Likewise, if you completely ignore every rule of good filmmaking, voila' it becomes "artistic" and "avantgarde".

Two twenty-something spoiled kids read off some dialogue implying that they are "detectives". They do some detectiving and see ghosts, apparitions, scary ladies with knives, all with different filter. So maybe one hallway is ALL BLUE, or a kitchen is ALL YELLOW, because *art*.

Shame because the production looks like they spent some money on it, but it seems that not a single talented filmmaker was involved in any way, because it's atrocious from the first to the last scene.

My vote: 4.5/10.