Wie beim ersten Mal

A slightly-over-middle-age couple finds themselves in more than a rut, post-post empty nest. What to do?

An overly-simplified plot outline for a lovely, sweet, funny, sad, quiet movie that allows the cast's acting talents to shine. A great script with spot-on character development. None of your over-dramatics here.

We all know about Meryl Streep & Tommy Lee Jones, but even they deliver some newness. But Steve Carell gives us a nuanced performance without the smallest hint of shtick. Notice Elisabeth Shue in a small part that delivers big. As well as Jean Smart & Mimi Rogers.

Don't miss this one.

Meryl Streep is a wonder, let's start right there. After her towering portrayal of Margaret Thatcher, an ordinary woman in real danger of disappearing all together. Real and enormously moving. Tommy Lee Jones gives us a face we hadn't seen before. Someone so settled in his ways that he doesn't notice what's happening around him. That's why, I though, his realization is so poignant. The film is based on a solid script but the direction is sluggish and uncertain to say the least. It feels as if the director didn't trust his material. The songs and the score, out of a Lifetime TV movie, doesn't allow us to connect with the real truths unfolding in the screen. That, I must confess, was very annoying. I recommend the film on the strength of the two central performances. Intimacy between two grown ups reflected on every look on every move until the score comes to interfere and derail our emotions.

There is no feeling of being lonesome so crushing as being in a room with someone, in a relationship with somebody, when the feeling is gone. This couple, married thirty one years, have discovered this, as some of us have at different times in our lives.

Tommy Lee Jones is the husband, marred down in his married life that has dimmed into something he feels will never be bright again. Never expects it to be. Is perfectly willing to plod along through life as is with his anger and dismay at how things have turned out hidden and suppressed. Meryl Streep is his wife, loving and longing to be loved, feeling that marriage should not be this way, no longer feeling attractive or appreciated. Willing to come out of her shell to try for change. Elizabeth Shue, who we don't see nearly enough of lately, was excellent. I have never liked Steve Carell so much in a role as I did in his part as the marriage counselor, trying to inflate this flattened union.

Many, many couples, married for decades will feel parts, if not all of this movie, in a personal way. I go to a lot of films and the number of people in the theater for the showing of this movie was more than I've seen gathered for an afternoon in the theater in years. I mean years. That's how infrequently we have a decent movie with fabulous actors come out, with no filthy language, no gratuitous sex….nothing to detract from a solid screenplay, a story well told and well acted. This one was exasperating, touching, amusing in spots, made you smile, caused you to shake your head…..it has it all. At the end of this film, everyone…and I mean everyone…was smiling, happy that they had come to see this one. Wow. That doesn't happen often.

Perhaps the young people won't see or appreciate the truth of this film so much, but let me tell you, the young are not the only folks buying tickets to movies. And every person with a few years under his or her belt, married to the same spouse for decades, will understand it and love it!

Hope Springs (2012)

*** (out of 4)

Charming comedy about a married couple (Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones) who have been together for thirty-one years but the wife starts to think they're losing everything. She forces her husband to go to a marriage counselor (Steve Carell) and soon they realize that a lot more is wrong than they thought. If you're looking for some deep, hard hitting marriage drama then I highly recommend you check out Ingmar Bergman's SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE. If you're looking for some light entertainment that will make you laugh then HOPE SPRINGS is just the film for you. Yes, I understand you could argue that Streep and Jones are too talented to appear in such a simple comedy but I personally don't think it matters and especially since both of them are so enjoyable here. What really struck me is that the two really do come across as a real couple who have been together for over thirty-years. Both actors are clearly into their roles and this is especially true for Jones who easily steals the picture. He can play grumpy like no other person out there and he does a terrific job here. His replies to being pressured by the doctor have a certain comic timing, which I found downright hilarious at times. Carell is also very good as the man in the middle. He basically just has to sit there and ask questions but the actor made the role quite memorable. The film is far from perfect as there's no doubt that it starts to wear down in the final fifteen minutes or so but the two actors are simply so charming that it's still worth watching.

I am a single, 67 year old retiree, who has been married and divorced twice; and this movie really touched me. It acted as a sort of cinematic mirror to prompt me to reflect upon the many daily choices, or even finer gradations of volition, that make up a healthy or dysfunctional marriage or relationship of any kind. The movie was about how we create our own heaven or hell, in the house, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, and in life. We lose our grip on our passionate love affairs almost the way that dust slowly collects on the floor. Didn't I just vacuum that dust yesterday? That is how a marriage can ossify, degrade itself, as if consciousness itself were shot full of some sort of novocaine by sneaky subtle injections over the years, one feeling at a time numbed.

Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones and Steve Carrell are excellent and break new emotional and acting ground for all three master actors.

The movie made me think about my entire life, and it made me reflect upon my parents' marriage, too.

Tommy Lee Jones' portrayal of Arnold, a man who has been an accountant so long he can simply function on automatic with his customers, not really giving his passionate self to his business- or his marriage, ran the gamut from acceptance of various ruts to various kinds of rage, embarrassment, and stubbornness, refusal to drop his pride, or make compromises that would have been in the best interests of himself, his wife and the marriage.

The camera does not editorialize. It shows Arnold falling asleep watching golf instruction on television. The camera directly above the frying pan and close up, depicts Meryl Streep's Kay, sizzling a strip of bacon and one sunny side up egg for Arnold every day, day after day. He eats his breakfast with his back to her as he reads the paper, then gets up, every day, and gives her a peck on the check without even making eye contact, and he's off to work again- like an unemotional little engine that could.

When Sisyphus pushed that boulder up to the top of the hill, his punishment by the gods, he had to watch it roll back down to the bottom of the hill whereupon, he repeated this process - for eternity. But Sisyphus smiled - at least according to Albert Camus, he smiled. It occurred to me that relationships and marriages devolve into accommodations, and that passion, like air being spent out the tiny leaks in a worn tire, can evanesce before either party truly, deeply realizes what they are doing, what they have done. The smiles in this movie are forced, automatic, defensive, painful. Boulders are not openly acknowledged.

In this movie, every scene is slightly underplayed. No line or gesture is over the top. Almost every word of dialogue is realistic. I never felt that I was being lectured or preached to. I did think that the background music was too intrusive several times, however, almost as if someone did not trust Meryl Streep to carry the emotional load of the scene - an error of judgement. This movie needed no such authorial or directorial intrusion - That is my only criticism.

"Hope Springs" is a movie about the ingredients of happiness or lack of same, and the finesse of the actors, the director, the cinematographer and the editors is magnificent. They never stooped to dwell on any sort of cliché dialogue or acting flourishes. It was believable.

I felt that the movie really opened up my life. I wish I had seen it 45 years ago when I married for the first time. It is that good.