Bullet Train Down

Okay so to start, why is the flight sim joystick controlling the bullet train? Second, cgi is TERRIBLE. Third, please just.. don't watch this. And also, why is the acting so just.. mashed together? The asylum's movies are so bad, like meteor moon and tarantulava, but this. THIS is the worst. And why are the sets so cheap? Yet they make it like a blockbuster. So if you were about to hit play on your tv to watch this, I suggest not. It's a waste of time and money. Really, this movie is the bottom of the bargain bin. AND THERES MORE. The landscaping is so off from where it's meant to take place. Anyways, bye.

This is a low budget film and not get any interest. Also the actors can not act well. The funniest thing is the FBI part. There is a bus infront of the FBI office. And also that bus is going every time. That means that clip is a repeated one. Do not get this film. Not recommend at all. Also there was a bomb :D. Funny thing is that bomb can see any one in the sky lol. Even train has a bomb there is no any police department, FBI vehicles or any forces except airforce. Also FBI man is drinking some thing every time. I thing that one is also a repeated clip. Script is also not ok. I have watched something similar to this film and that film is a great one. Again do not watch this.

When I saw the title of this 2022 movie, I must admit that my thoughts were immediately 'okay, The Asylum is now cashing in on the Bullet Train movie'. Yet, I still opted to give "Bullet Train Down" a chance, on the account of it being a movie that I hadn't seen, nor actually ever heard about prior to sitting down to watch.

And my initial thoughts were true, because this movie was The Asylum cashing in on the Brad Pitt movie "Bullet Train", except they also rip off "Speed". Yeah, the storyline in "Bullet Train Down" is a blantant rip off of the old Keanu Reeves movie "Speed", except this story takes place on a bullet train and not on a bus. So much for originality from writer Alex Heerman, huh?

While The Asylum definitely have a lot of dubious movies to their name, then I will honestly say that "Bullet Train Down" wasn't all that bad. Cheesy and corny, sure, but it was watchable and entertaining enough for the cheese that it was. Not exactly a great movie, mind you.

The acting performances in the movie were somewhat all over the place. Some of the actors and actresses couldn't muster a performance that would fool a blind man, while others were doing all the heavy lifting and carrying the movie almost singlehandedly. Rashod Freelove definitely carried the movie with his performance, alongside with Xander Bailey. Tom Sizemore was the only familiar face for me on the cast list, but his acting in this movie was just laughably bad and wooden.

Visually then "Bullet Train Down" was actually an okay movie, especially taking into consideration some of the numerous older movies that The Asylum have been churning out. Sure, you're not in for a CGI spectacle here, but the CGI effects worked well enough in favor of the movie. However, it should be noted that you will not buy into believing that the movie ever took place inside a train, because the sets were just so horribly amateurish and looked like they cleared out someone's living room and built up what was supposed to be the cabin of a bullet train. It just didn't fool anyone.

"Bullet Train Down" is the type of movie that you will watch once, then shelf it, forget about and never bring it out to see the light of day ever again.

My rating of director Brian Novak's 2022 movie "Bullet Train Down" lands on a four out of ten stars.

Ok I was expecting a bad movie and I was not disappointed. This movie is great for cleaning your house or noise in the background to make doing your taxes interesting. You don't even need to rewind if you miss something while going to check your mail. Honestly it felt like a student film or something the sci-fi channel would have aired in their early days. The budget felt like someone used a credit card to fund this. Way too much gel color on the lighting. Also who gets this excited about a train doing 200 mph it's the 21st century. I do have one other observation. I feel like no one really let Tom know you can see the withdrawal symptoms and sweating. He's so pale. Made me feel sad because this was obviously his last film and though he had issues he was a formidable actor.

Okay, a narrative about something something a train, and forgive me if this is a spoiler, but... they die if the train stops. Not ground breaking, kinda boring actually... but what is the deal with the budget in this "movie"? It feels like a cheap group youtube video, the actors are so bad, the props are so bad, everything feels so cheap. Especially the writing. 30 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore, there wasn't a SINGLE line of dialogue that was funny, interesting or clever in any way at at all, it was just dead text on a paper. And some "WTF" moments that make absolutely no sense at all like rocks randomly flying into the train for no reason at all. How? Why? What? Loud bomb noises in the back of the train "uh what was that noise, was it a bomb?" idiot kid says "BOMB????" why are these people so dumb. Then some other guy says "it's ok, the train would stop if there was something bad" oh you mean apart from a window shattering and a loud bomb explosion and train shaking, or the person in front of you bleeding, yeah everything is perfectly fine. I just want to grab these people and strangle them for being so dumb. And the dialogues are so unnatural too. Even the premise is unnatural, people acting all amazed at a train going 200 mph.... woohoo... who cares. Go in europe or asia if you wanna go on a fast train. Ok maybe not europe. Really, a plane can go way faster and fly but you don't see people being amazed at that (anymore) at least not for the last 50-100 years. It's just a train, calm down.

I will give it credit for a scene where a person gets strangled and they actually struggle instead of just immediately dying without any problems. I can't give it 1 star since i didn't see any blatant sexism/racism/etc... at least not yet, i quit after 30 minutes.

But hey maybe the "movie" works if you wanna get down with your friends and watch a laughingly bad movie and make fun of it. How many bad things can you spot?