Longhorns

This could have been a really good movie, but it wore out its one-joke theme - straight guys who love nothing better than masturbating together while watching porn - about the third time it played out. That may be a powerful and persistent fantasy and an infallible source of amusement for lots of gay men, but it's not for me, and watching it in a movie gets old very fast. It wasn't even remotely believable the first time it happened, and it got less believable every time.

The second recurring theme has one man stripping completely naked and standing still for another, fully clothed man to ogle. Each of the five main characters did it once each, with another of the five (two, in one instance) as the clothed ogler. Was that supposed to be funny too, or was it just an extremely clumsy way to get as much full frontal (but as sterile as a nun) nudity as possible into the movie? So the movie is almost unbearably contrived, stupid and unfunny. It has two redeeming strengths, though.

Three of the main cast members are genuine Southerners who talk with real Southern accents, not the Hollywood fake-Southern accents non-Southern actors always affect (even Meryl Streep can't get it right) in movies. Non-Southerners must not be able to tell the difference, but I can, and as a long-time transplant to the North, hearing people who talk like me on screen warms my heart and points out how very, very rarely it happens. Even Southern actors almost never use their native accents in movies, which is sad.

The movie's other strength is the cast, particularly Derek Villanueva and Dylan Vox, who shine (Jacob Newton, though sort of cute, is a little weak as the lead). I wish someone would remake Longhorns with the same cast but as a serious movie, not a very lame, very unfunny comedy.

This film is a delight from the moment it starts and doesn't let up until the very end - didn't even take time for a pit stop I was so caught up in the playfulness of this film. The cast is uniformly hot - all the guys and the gals too - lots of flesh - especially full frontal nudity - in fact all the male leads show it all - very unexpected and fun, fun, fun - not much of a story but the cast is so great to look at who cares? Some incredible eroticism done in a most unusual way - which catches you completely by surprise. In fact this film is full of surprises. A real winner. The Texas shots were all great - really gave you a sense of the way Texas looks - that part also surprised me.

It gives, in nice manner, the atmosphere of "80 -s. It has not bad humor, decent performances and easy story. And, more important, it gives the flavor of college life , without high ambitions but in reasonable manner. And, sure, it is a low budget film who has not as purpose to impress but to offer a not so bad fun.

A cast of unexciting, not especially good-looking actors, most of whom would not make the cut in an audition for a high school play, certainly complement the mediocre, sophomoric story.

All the indoor scenes appear to have been shot in various rooms of a $5 a night motel and one suspects their rental expense probably consumed most of the production budget.

The standard over-worked components of a gay-themed movie, homophobia, state of denial and self-revelation, are played out awkwardly, are totally unbelievable and generate no emotion other than acute embarrassment for all concerned, especially the viewer.

This might have been cutting-edge 40 years ago, but these days there is no shortage of well written, superbly acted and beautifully produced movies dealing with all aspects of gay life. This oeuvre is to 21st century gay-themed movies what Amos & Andy would be to modern Black cinematic entertainment.

Even worse, it appears to have been mistakenly labeled a comedy. The comedic highlights include: (a)One of the characters has given names to his three house plants and (b) The same character unintentionally wears blue jeans on Wear Blue Jeans if You're Gay Day. I hope revealing that didn't spoil the hilarity for anyone.

Don't bother.

Gay-themed movies have traditionally be grated on a curve, and in my opinion, this one stands on its own. It has a story, good acting (a little over-acting by one character...but it actually fits), a plot and some good full-frontal...yeah, that really helped in this movie. It was a bit gratuitous, but heck, this is a movie about sex in college years, so it was appropriate. It's a very light-hearted "coming out" movie that has a very good moral to it, and even some sharp insights; the main character treated other openly gay characters the same way HE was treated, specifically by the guys he was attracted to. So, he felt/learned this was "normal" behavior. I would highly recommend it as a date-movie or light brain-candy.