Thor - Der Allmächtige

I'm sorry this movie was horrible. From the beginning with the weird cgi of the huge army in battle, but any scenes with the soldiers only showed one or two fighting... Most of the time swinging their swords up in the air to the off camera demon dogs (or whatever)... To the constant walking of Loki once he got to Earth...what was that a total of 10+ minutes of him just strolling on the sidewalk and attempting to look menacing? The movie was so bad i got distracted by Thor's brother's weird Rocky looking lip... and Thor's bright white two front teeth? Are those bad caps or did he suck his thumb too long... Thor whined more than Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars... I gave up with only 15 minutes left of the movie. Thor even had some "magical" earth jacket that would hide the hammer when he put it in his inside pocket...sometimes it went in handle first some times hammer end first...(Didn't Dungeons and Dragon's have some endless pocket or something like that?) Oh the "magical" jacket even had a place to hold his sword on his back and remained invisible until he pulled it out... :)

Btw, I actually registered on IMDb so i could post this review...That's how bad the movie was...

This movie was just hilariously awful. It seems like a 12 year old wrote the script. It tells the story of a young Thor coming of age and trying to avenge his father Odin (played by professional rassler Kevin Nash), who was smited by Loki (Richard Grieco). Seems Loki the evil trickster wants the famous hammer that would eventually become Thor's bread and butter weapon. Grieco walks around with evil written all over him including a powdery white face and black spikey armor.

Cody Deal is the dumbest Thor or for that matter any other super hero/god ever. He can't fight and even though Jarnsaxa (a warrior chick trained by The Valkyries played by Patricia Velasquez) tells him over and over that he can't fight, has no skills and can't beat Loki he just continually ignores her and says "I'm going to find Loki and kill him". Guess what?! Every time he finds Loki he gets his butt whipped handily. Still our thickheaded moron of a hero won't go train and says "I am going to find Loki and kill him!" This movie is beyond bad. I watched it on the Sci/Fi channel and it has all the makings of a Sci/Fi original film. The CGI is cheap and cartoony. The fights are shot like they shot one move, cut, then another move, cut and then another. BUT I will say this, if you like bad movies and like to laugh at how horrible and ridiculous they are then you will get something out of this. I laughed and was held to the screen by its awfulness!

I caught this on Syfy, and I wish I could make them take it back. The plot centered around Loki trying to destroy the earth by killing Yggdrasill, the tree of life. I don't remember if either Thor or Loki mention it by name; I got the impression they couldn't pronounce actual Nordic terms if their paychecks depended on it. Not only this, but Loki keeps talking about Ragnarok, and it is obvious the writers had no idea what the term means. They would probably also call people in a blimp "the Rapture." Anywhoo, the whole plot requires Loki to steal Thor's hammer. Why this is difficult is never made clear, because Thor is a major beefcake meathead. He sounds like a surfer and spends most of the movie looking like he needs a diaper change. Some woman named Jarnsaxa spoon-feeds him every move, which is amazing because she is practically unintelligible--a fact made even more painful when they do vocal effects and her words could not be deciphered even by CIA software.

I won't spoil the ending, because the director and writer already did that. Suffice it to say that it involves a trip to Hell; not HEL, the Nordic afterlife and the goddess thereof, but basically the Christian Hell--fire, lava, the whole ball of melting wax.

Watch this if you need a good laugh; there isn't an ounce of real heroism or grandeur in the whole mess. My biggest disappointment was Richard Grieco, who can be an effective menace but here comes across as a street punk with a wand and a skin condition.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen, bar absolutely none. Special effects look like special defects, acting is so bad (except for Loki-nothing outstanding, but he looks like a genius compared to the others), it's to cry for, the plot is so simplistic it's almost scary, the dialogs are way beyond cliché, and most of the movie looks like it was filmed in a back lot. And yes, there is a dark and stormy knight.

The movie is so bad I found myself rooting for Loki, hoping he would kill Thor as soon as possible, so that the movie would finally end. But no such luck. It kept going on, and on, and on, and... I almost wish I could have knocked myself out with the hammer of invincibility.

There's 90 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

I have made no secret of disliking The Asylum/SyFy's output, there is the odd exception where some films of theirs are tolerable but neither come close to very good/masterpiece status, most are bad and quite a lot bottom of the barrel quality. Almighty Thor belongs in the bottom of the barrel category, and I can only think of about 3 of their films that are worse than this(Titanic II, Alien vs. Hunter and The Apocalypse).

Absolutely nothing about Almighty Thor works. The production values are really quite poor. Haphazard editing, some really odd camera angles and some of the most crude CGI effects in any of The Asylum's films. The dialogue is laughable, although a lot of the film from The Asylum/SyFy have this problem the dialogue here really takes the biscuit. Not much effort is seemingly put into the story or characters here, the story is never secure in the pace-some scenes feel rushed(the ending) and others feel pedantic(the middle)- and is never interesting, while the characters are not developed or used well at all and nothing is done to make me engage with them. The acting all round is also appalling, Cody Deal is very uncharismatic and can't act his way out of a paper bag no matter how hard he tried.

Overall, not only one of the worst so far of the year and also one of the worst to come from The Asylum. 0/10 Bethany Cox