The Weapon

When I tell you this is the worst movie you will ever see in your life, it's an understatement. I can't even say it's a C film, it's that bad. There's a little room for forgiveness due to this being actor Tony Schiena's (who also acted in this film) first time as a director.

But where there's no excuse is how horribly this was written by Michael Caissie. This is the most incoherent and inept screenplay ever written. The plot is so convoluted with ridiculous characters popping in and out with no backstory, reason or explanation. It's so bad, that the actual dialogue one tough-guy says is "L-O-L".

Then you have the worst editing I have ever seen - was this mess even edited? Scenes just end and another starts like the screenplay was shredded and randomly taped back together. The screenplay and editing need to be studied in film school on what not to do.

Don't be fooled by some high-caliber names being cast, I'm sure they are all regretting it - albeit the minimal scenes they had. The score was loud and overbearing, and all casting and performances including the action scenes, were amateur-hour cringeworthy.

I'm baffled at the production companies that saw the final cut and decided to go to market thinking this nonsense was watchable, because it's not. It's irritatingly and frustratingly unwatchable.

It's a very generous 2/10 from me, out of pity for some of the decent actors that had their names attached to this.

How the hell did this even get made? Who owes Tony Sheena so many favors that they actually let this asshat star AND direct this pathetic mess. How much did they have to pay CGJ to be in this? Also, when does he show up? I think I missed it between the worst, fake fight scenes I've ever seen and checking my spam mail because I was so bored I would rather read phishing emails and ads for Viagra.

Yes, the editing is terrible. But don't blame the editors. They were just trying to splice together some semblance of a narrative from the train wreck of raw footage. It's pretty clear that Tony Sheena wants to be an action star, but his Small Dick Energy is too overwhelming. He's so unconvincing as just a human being, much less a star. To call his acting wooden would be an insult to wood. Avoid at all costs.

The acting is sub-par, the dialogue is stunted and delivered as if by recent graduates of Madam Pickle's Backstreet School of Acting.

A meaningless soundtrack overlays everything - I got 16 minutes into the film before turning it off, going to bed and crying myself to sleep at the rapid demise of quality cinema.

I couldn't even wait for Gooding to make an appearance who might have improved the quality of this movie - I couldn't take it any longer than I did.

The script is full of clichés and don't worry, there are no spoilers here because I've already forgotten every utterance of every actor in this ridiculously bad movie.

I only started watching this movie for the "presence" of Cuba Gooding Jr and Bruce Dern. Two of the greatest actors. But blink once with your eyes and you have missed their performances, it's that SHORT.

The bad: THIS IS A B-MOVIE. Everything from acting, story, sound, photography to eidting, everything is amateur night.

What's worse, to cover up the ridiculousness of this movie they started using lots of cheap violence, fake violence, but nonetheless gross violence.

Not even the slightiest funny. It is a big nothing burger. But I kept on watching hoping to see Cuba Gooding Jr and Bruce Dern, but I have no clue why they decided to star in this flop. Did they run into lower grounds, into financiial troubles. It's always sad to see great actors lower themselves to this kind of garbage...

READ THE TITLE OF THIS REVIEW. I consider myself to be a movie buff and so when I saw that. Cuba Gooding Jr. And the OG Bruce Dern were going to be part of the cast I thought this movie "Should" be something worth my time. Well, I can tell you that this movie has reached a new low in my world of unwatchable movies. This is probably close to the worst movie ever that I have watched. There were so many issues with this movie it's not even worth my time to repeat any of them. Just read the other 1 Star comments that are here if you want to know more. From bad acting to a story line that leads in multiple directions to so many unnecessary actors, that aren't even required, to the worst plot ever, it just made for a REALLY bad movie. I wouldn't recommend anyone watching this movie unless you really have absolutely nothing else to watch and are forced to watch it. Definitely DO NOT PAY to see this movie as you will just be wasting your money and time. Who ever signed off on the release of this movie should be fired and never allowed to work in the movie industry again. As far as the director and editor the same goes for them as well. That or go back to film school and learn the right way. I'm sure a 5th grader could do better than this. As far as a rating this movie is not even a 1/10 but I had to pick something in order to leave my review.

ZERO STARS FOR THIS MOVIE!!