V/H/S/99

VHS 1 & 2 are still easily the best. Then I'd say '94, then this or 'Viral' for last place. I haven't seen 'Viral' since it released because I remember it being just too terrible, but this one was pretty awful too. There was no suspense in any of the segments in this one, except for when the girl is buried in the cemetary, but that segment is ruined when the monster shows up and looks cheaper than if I made a monster mask out of paper and mud.

'94' at least had Raatma, which I hoped would return in '99' since Raatma was the standout segment, but no. The connecting story of this movie makes no sense, not that any of the 'VHS' connecting storylines made much sense, but this one is complete nonsensical trash.

As for the segments themselves, they were all bad. Almost all the segments were just lame campfire stories/urban legends that were lamely executed. This movie also lacked the gritty, gross and snuff-like feel that the best 'VHS' movies offered. Also, none of the kids in this acted or spoke like they were from the '90s, they sounded like your typical annoying Fortniters or Minecrafters.

The first 2 'VHS' movies (and even some bits of '94') had a vibe to them where you felt like you were going to end up as a segment for just watching such a nasty-looking cursed film. But for '99', I felt like sitting through it was worse than ending up as a segment. A step down from '94', and a giant leap down from 'VHS' 1 & 2.

Hands down the best part of this movie was a hilarious performance from Steven Ogg.

3/10.

I have been a VHS loyalist since the beginning and even liked 1984. Has every segment ever been a homer in? No. But there's always a diamond or two in the rough. This time around there was quite literally nothing redeeming. Even gawker which should have been the best was wasted with filler and a boring climax. It was like a "Lily" rip-off with none of the tension. Man I can't believe every segment was a dud but here we are. Give some new writers a chance or at least be honest with yourselves when reading the scripts and weed out the garbage. Otherwise this franchises will suffer even further..

I have to start by saying the main poster for this film featuring hell with the camera lense eyed face at the top is a truly great poster. It says in the trivia that after the success of 'V/H/S/94' this was rushed into production and it sadly feels that way a bit. It's not a bad entry in the series, however it isn't close to the best.

A brief analysis of the segments:

Shredding - Probably my least favourite segment. Not very creative and nothing new or memorable about it.

Suicide Bid - The stuff in the coffin was very claustrophobic and effective. The ending I could have down without, however a 'V/H/S' movie has to 'V/H/S'. All said, probably my favourite segment.

Ozzy's Dungeon - I thought I was really going to enjoy this one until it went down a completely different path to what I expected. There was so much potential and it was set up so well. Then it fell apart. Very disappointing.

The Gawkers - This one was decent. Spends a lot of time setting everything up and then it's over a little too quickly. This was a strong enough concept to get a full length feature out of.

To Hell And Back - I'm not sure how I feel about this one. The idea is a good one. The execution didn't quite live up to the concept however. It never really felt like they were in hell.

2/5 would get pass marks for me. I will give the overall film a 6/10.

1. Suicide Bid 2. Shredding 3. The Gawkers 4. Ozzy's Dungeon 5. To Hell And Back

V/H/S/99 is the latest in the mixed bag that makes up the V/H/S franchise. Of the five stories, none are particularly awful yet none hit some of the heights previous V/H/S' have managed.

An 1hr 50m for this kind of anthology is rather long and the running time begins to tell the longer it goes on. Ozzy's Dungeon has lots of potential but begins to bore. Same goes for To Hell And Back. The most accomplished piece is Suicide Bid which contains the better scares with a neat ending.

V/H/S/99 is a shudder exclusive and is the perfect platform for a series of it's kind. There is a sequel already announced called V/H/S/85 coming to shudder as well and so far V/H/S still has legs.

I have no idea what the Bloody Disgusting team was thinking here. This was like a bad joke. There is nothing..not one thing..scary in this movie. If anyone says otherwise, they need their head checked. The segments are all cheap, creature features. I'm talking CHEAP and not a single segment even remotely based in reality. This feels like they took some rejected submissions to VHS 94, slapped them together, and went for cash grab.

I love found footage footage. As much as I didn't like Viral, I still really hoped it would do well so we would get more installments. I figured they'd rebound the next go round..and they did, at times. They've proven incapable of matching the quality of their first 2 but they still put out some solid segments. So, my vote was to keep them coming. A few good VHS stories are better than no VHS stories. I guess I still feel that way. If another comes, I'll check it out. If not, RIP. I doubt anybody cares at this point.