Secret Lesbian Diaries 11

Veteran porn director B. Skow is getting very sloppy in his middle-age, judging by this edition of the Girlfriends series. Lengthy (3-1/2 hours long) feature begins promisingly, but deteriorates into confusion and continuity lapses.

Serene Siren, contract star for the label, has the lead role as a true cougar, adept at instantly seducing sweet young things and taking them to bed. You couldn't call it grooming, even if you were a right-wing conspiracy proselytizer, as she is adept at cutting directly to the chase.

I enjoyed the fact that the sex vignettes here are tied together by a fresh gimmick: a female rideshare driver. Very cute (love that bangs hairdo) driver Honey Hayes begins the narration, writing in her diary, as the college student's first customer for a ride is Siren.

Photographed driving along, a refreshing switch from this series generally taking place indoors, never far from a bedroom or perhaps living room couch suitable for humping on, the ladies chat and Siren unsubtly not only says she'll help Honey get an internship in her chosen engineering field, but will give her a room in her home to stay in. The kid takes her up on it and they're in bed almost immediately.

Movie goes haywire soon after, as a gimmicky plot twist of Siren's ex coming to visit her is poorly handled, and the production runs the female driver gimmick into the ground. Silliness number one: Honey has to go to college classes, so Siren, a very glamorous apparently wealthy woman, volunteers to take substitute driving for the youngster's rideshare duties that day. Yeah, right.

Then, the white car she uses doesn't match the one we just watched the two of them chat in for a reel: first one had front seat head-rests and the second one does not.

Then Siren's first customer is Spencer Bradley, who has just fled her wedding rehearsal after suddenly realizing she doesn't like men(!).

Of course, Siren immediately seduces her, and takes her to a hotel for humping. Back at her house, she doesn't return on time, leaving poor Honey to entertain Siren's ex-girlfriend, lovely Aften Opal. The two of them compare notes regarding Siren and Opal immediately seduces Honey for XXX scene #3.

That leaves the finale, completely ludicrous. We are introduced to Freya Parker, writing in the same diary as before and voicing over how she's dropped Siren after finding out about her m.o., picking up young girls. It's confusing whether this is an amazing coincidence, or perhaps Freya is playing the same character as Honey! Either way, she's driving the same second white car that Siren was driving.

Next stupid twist is that her customer turns out to be a girl she met at Siren's home who has a crush on her and is sort of stalking her. Freya tries to throw the girl (pretty blonde Nikki Sweet) out of the car but the girl threatens to give her a bad rating on-line, a novel but idiotic form of sexual blackmail! They argue some more but almost instantly Freya relents, and is soon humping the girl who only kissed her once before.

Instead of weaving an interesting story, we've been treated to preposterous nonsense, encouraging the viewer to skip the "talking scenes" and wallow in three hours of XXX, another victory for the all-sex faction.