Nuked

Well, that was a new experience. I never rooted for a ballistic missile before.

I thought about taking a dig at the writers of this thing, but they're probably far better than the movie would suggest. You don't write people this unlikable by accident.

Around the halfway point they try for some sympathy points, but at that point you're already trying to imagine what these characters look like after a nuclear bomb - excuse me: missile - has burned their vape-sucking corpses to smoldering ashes.

Now, attention! The following contains a spoiler, but it's only a spoiler if you watch the movie, which I highly advise you don't. It's also only a spoiler if you've suffered severe head trauma and don't see it coming a mile off, so I haven't marked this review as such.

It's more of a warning than a review anyway, and by now you've had enough of a heads-up.

The bloody missile doesn't come.

There is no missile.

I was promised a missile would put an end to my suffering! Now I'm gonna have to go outside and throw a cigarette into the air and pretend that's a missile.

At one point, two of them throw their phones into the fireplace and watch them burn, but the batteries don't explode either.

You really can't win with this movie, unless you're a therapist who can't let go of work.

Nuked, a 2025 release, attempts to blend comedy with a disaster scenario, centering on a missile attack on the United States. Unfortunately, the film largely misses its mark, failing to balance humor with narrative tension or meaningful character development. The premise holds potential, but the execution feels flat and underwhelming.

The cast is made up primarily of unknown actors, which makes it difficult to connect with any of the characters. Their antics, intended to be funny and endearing, come across as hollow, and without strong performances to anchor the story, the humor often falls flat. The lack of audience investment in the characters significantly undermines the film's comedic and dramatic beats.

Direction-wise, the film struggles to give clarity to the story or the purpose of the characters. Most of the action is confined to a single location, with minimal variation, leaving the pacing stagnant. Scenes often feel repetitive, and the director never fully capitalizes on the chaotic premise, leaving the audience more confused than entertained.

The screenplay is another weak point. Dialogue and plot development are shallow, with little cohesion between the comedic setups and the supposed disaster stakes. The story lacks memorable moments, failing to create either laughter or suspense in any meaningful way.

Ultimately, Nuked comes across as a misfire. It is neither compelling as a comedy nor engaging as a disaster narrative. Its lack of focus, weak cast, and underdeveloped screenplay prevent it from being enjoyable, memorable, or worth revisiting.

For viewers seeking humor or clever disaster satire, this film is unlikely to satisfy. Nuked remains a forgettable entry in 2025 cinema, and it's difficult to recommend it to anyone.

Nuked has an interesting enough premise, but the film itself left me a little disappointed. The film follows a group of old friends who reunite for a party, only to find out that a nuclear bomb is heading their way. In a desperate attempt to survive, the group hunker down in the basement, and they quickly find out that they haven't been totally honest with each other. Also, are they supposed to be high? Which is supposed to add to the humor, but they didn't really act high, so I kept forgetting they ate pot, and that detail didn't add anything to the story. It's a good setup, and there is a lot of potential for good storytelling. However, the problem here is that the characters aren't that interesting. The main characters are Jack and Jill (Anna Camp). Jack is a school teacher, and Jill is a successful podcaster. Their relationship is strained because they want different things in life. Their storyline was okay, but nothing you haven't seen a million times in romantic comedies. The other three couples are all kinds of terrible people. Also, having four different couples in a 90-minute movie really doesn't leave much time for character development. So, a lot of plot points are rushed, and much to my disappointment, there isn't a lot of resolution outside of our central couple. Outside of Anna Camp, the acting is nothing special either. I love Anna Camp, and it's fun to see another film for her brunette phase from a few years ago. I also really loved her bright orange outfit that she wears in this. However, despite some funny moments, this movie left me wanting more. It wasn't terrible, it wasn't great, just okay, and sometimes that's okay.

I wasn't sure I'd love this going in, but I walked out with a smile, and had several moments where I laughed aloud.

Yes, it's a retread of a well-known formula, but the film executes well on it. The characters, starkly stereotypical, each hold a useful place in the story.

We all have a friend who's obsessed with their phone for one reason or another, and Nuked offers a playful vehicle to explore how that obsession can lead to a series of unintended consequences. In this case, maddening ones.

The story was inspired by a real event in Hawaii - go watch the movie then Google it for details.

Grab an edible and play along!