Cocaine Cougar

Well, the movie starts off nicely with some good music. But I have to admit that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to the movie. Sure, the "Cocaine Bear" movie was great, but the "Cocaine Shark" movie was truly abysmal, so I wasn't hopeful when I sat down to watch what writer Dustin Ferguson had to offer with "Cocaine Cougar".

Sure, I had never heard about the movie, prior to sitting down to watch it. But of course, with such a title, then the movie is worth checking out, if nothing else.

And let me just say that "Cocaine Cougar" is bad. So very, very bad.

The writing of Dustin Ferguson was rather simplistic. And it was a very bland, mundane, generic and laughable storyline. A bit strange how something like this actually gets green-lighted. But hey, as long as there is money to be made, I guess.

Needless to say that there wasn't a single familiar actor or actress on the cast list. Nor do I blame anyone for not wanting to get involved in something like this. The acting performances by the cast was wooden, rigid and not particularly convincing.

But wait, it gets better. The CGI rendered cougar in the movie, and that would be the animal not those Botox-infused and pseudo-melting women that were in the movie, looked abysmal. I have rarely seen CGI of this poor level in movies before, and it was just painful to witness.

Actually, the best thing about this travesty of a movie was its cover, which over-sold the movie a million times. There is no cougar like that in the movie, don't get your hopes up.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Cocaine Cougar", because it most definitely isn't worth the time, money or effort.

My rating of directors Dustin Ferguson, Andy Qualtrough and Erik Anthony Russo's 2023 movie lands on a one out of ten stars.

Just because somebody provides the soundtrack for free, doesn't mean you should use it! With a whopping 6 minute intro, most of it playing Properties Of Terror by Snipers Of Babel, and some monotonous, unchanging wildlife noises followed by Snipers Of Babel.

Holy mother of God, where to start with this? I can tell you now that the sound post production was all over the shop, dialogue levels compared to filler music levels will get you reaching for the volume control, quick smart. The special effects, well let's just say that they were "special". Writer/Director/Actor combination rarely works and should be a warning.

I can't even tell where the budget went on this, maybe the soundtrack wasn't free after all. The only redeeming thing for this is that the credits start rolling at just under 41 minutes - but they go on for 10 minutes!

I am guessing that due to the writers and actors strike of 2023, we will be bombarded with tripe like this. The reviewer that rated this a 10 needs to be shamed for their 10 star review. There are 3 directors listed for this, shame that they could get it together. No recommendation here.

As bad as it gets. A junior high school student could've done better.

I'm sure these actors are good, if there was a better script.

I wonder if being in this hurt their career.

Except for Sophia's, who is she anyway? An old wannabe?

Don't waste your time with this one. I've seen better on TV commercials.

I'd take this movie and redone it in Anime'.

It'd be more interesting, and have better acting.

I need more characters in my review.

I guess I'll say, if you're trying your last chance at being an actor, and you're in your 70's , skip these bad movies.

Try out for AARP commercials.

Or those Medicare infomercials.

Cutting yourself for 51 minutes would be a better use of your time and more enjoyable than watching this. Using a cactus as toilet paper would be more enjoyable. Giving birth through your mammary glands would be more enjoyable.

This film genuinely made me want to kms. Who would make this? Why would they make this? Why would a streaming service have this? Somebody once told a man to follow his dreams. That man was Dustin Ferguson, and by Christ someone should have told him to get a job doing literally ANYTHING else.

There is no beginning, there is no middle, but thankfully there is and end.

Peace and Love.

This movie claims to be based on true events, like Cocaine Bear was, while it is completely obvious this is a knock off of said movie to cash in on its coat tail it is also painfully obvious that the claim that it is based on true events is BS. The reason being that there are no authenticated cases of truly melanistic cougars anywhere. No specimen has been photographed or killed in the wild, nor has it ever been bred in captivity...

What about the large black cats seen in zoos and on television programs? Those are black leopards or black jaguars.

For melanistic cougars to be the answer to anything here, movie wise, there would have to be at least a few of them, and there is no proof of any of them. Jaguars, however, do throw melanistic offspring and are native to Texas, western Louisiana, New Mexico, Arizona and California. Melanism is also present, albeit rare, in bobcats...

That said, this movie was really, really bad anyway lol.... I can't believe I actually made it though the whole thing.... That lead "actress" has had so much work done on her face its actually painful to look at.

Complete waste of time, it wasn't even funny or amusing in a bad way, I was really hoping it would be....