Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I don't like Amy Schumer, I don't think she's very good at her job. However, I watch her specials in the way someone might watch a low budget B movie. I like gawking and cringing at a bad piece of media - who doesn't? Her leather special was so bad it almost came full circle around to being accidentally funny. This special doesn't come close to that. There's nothing interesting, funny, or noteworthy about this special, accidental or intended. This is the auditory equivalent of a saltine cracker without the salt. I've never heard a comedian with less energy on stage, with weaker delivery, or with a lack of jokes. This was like a live 50 minute (couldn't even make it an hour long!) podcast, rather than a standup comedy special.

No laughs were had, nor smiles. There were a couple sighs and eye rolls but that was about it. At least the leather special was so gross and off-putting it brought a little emotion out of me, even if it was to cringe/laugh at how bad the jokes were instead of at the jokes themselves. This special elicits absolutely nothing. Some of the joke premises had potential but are immediately squandered by perhaps the worst delivery I've heard from a standup comedian. It's like a living AI onstage, operating under the prompt: "be a female Louis CK".

This special is unbelievably dry, bland, drab, and has no rhythm or flow. She's just saying words. At least this time she's not talking about her bodily fluids the entire time, although that was the only thing that made the last specials interesting; otherwise this is nothing more than just dull, unfunny standup comedy.

Is she there on some sort of quota? One specifically for people called Amy Schumer? I don't understand how she keeps on creating these unfunny specials and keeps on getting gigs like life and beth. She has to be the most unfunny comedian out there and is literally somehow stealing opportunities from people who actually have some talent and are not a propped up character that people HAVE to find funny (rotten tomatoes has a 100% positive reviews for this torturous special). Probably shouldn't have watched it in the first place but oh god the 100% positive reviews thing got the better of me and I thought I could finally see what these media executives see in Amy and her wit, never again though can't put myself through her forced "jokes" and I hope media execs realise she is just a big name with nothing to show for it.

Amy was never funny. This movie should be banned from viewing, internationally. Why is Amy famous,? Why is Tina Fey famous? They are so unfunny, corny, and annoying. Please stop them from movies. The movie, It's a abomination. Her entire career is a abomination. If Any makes one more movie, I will pull my own hair out, by the roots. The people in the movie theater were saying how unfunny and kame the movie was. I went because my White friend wanted me to come. She's so nice and annoying, so I went. I should get her to give me my money back for the ticket into the movie. I work two jobs. So I slept about an half an hour, because the movie is a waste of time, money, and energy. Don't do it, you guys. Thank me later.

Amy Schumer is the least funniest person I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. The jokes were rubbish, reused and old. Honestly I don't understand why she is even given a platform unless it is to TORTURE the audience.

Please do yourself an HUGE FAVOUR and don't waste your time. It's like poking needles in your eyes listening to her whine.

Really really hope Netflix never gives her another show or I will really have to cancel my subscription.

She should give it a rest and stop trying so hard to push this comedic career because it's genuinely awful and embarrassing.

Running out of space. But don't watch it.

I've seen morgues with more energy than Amy. She looked bored and completely un-interested in performing on stage. It doesn't help that her material is mostly recycled from her previous specials: being fat, plastic surgery, having an autistic husband, and married life. She is a 40 year old woman who acts like she's 80. She talked to an audience member who's almost 30 like she was a toddler. The biggest problem is that Amy just doesn't have anything interesting to say. She tries to make up for boring topics by using quirky voices but ends up taking a dirt nap. I don't blame Amy for this turd, I blame Netflix for still paying this unfunny clown to stink up their platform. Throw this special to the dogs.