Never Been Chris'd

This is not a typical Hallmark Christmas movie. It is, however, funny. The characters are immature and self centered without the more normal over the top "proof" of immaturity, shallowness and self absorption. They are presented in a "stupid" manner, which is not a failure of the script writing, but it is deliberate. It is comical as it was intended to be. There is no heart warming lesson (or a tying together of the story lines), no typified misunderstanding that gets rectified nor an engagement ring on Christmas Eve. It's comical as we both laugh at the characters and empathize with them. I enjoyed its edge of humor.

I'm sorry, but this felt as if it had been written by a group 16 year olds who couldn't agree on which direction the plot should take. Normally I'd rate anything with Tyler Hynes in it a 9 or 10, but this just was not a fitting vehicle for his talent. His part could have been played by anyone. What a waste of talent. The movie itself was slow, rambling and muddled and not worth the watch for me - though I did watch till the end hoping there'd be some redeeming quality, some epiphany or...something. The characters were lukewarm at best and unlikeable at the worst - not enough interest in any of them to care what happened. Guess I expect Hallmark to raise the bar for Christmas but not this time.

Normally Hallmark movies with Janel Parrish and Tyler Hynes are very good to excellent, but I can't say the same about this one, though it wasn't their fault. The storyline was very ill conceived and sophomoric, as many reviewers already stated. Naomi (Parrish), Chris (Hynes) and Liz (Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes) are high school classmates, and Naomi and Liz have remained close friends and business partners and both had a crush on Chris back in the day. Fast forward to present day, a high school reunion is about to take place and both of the women find themselves in a quandary over their feelings for Chris. I felt embarrassed for the actors because they were too old for a juvenile storyline like this. One thing I found sort of interesting was the storyline regarding both women's relationships with their moms. Beyond that, I did not enjoy this movie at all.

If you're looking for a fun class-reunion type of movie, I suggest Christmas Class Reunion with Aimee Teegarden and Tanner Novlan. The storyline is much more well conceived, the characters are better written and it's much more enjoyable. If you're looking for a really good holiday movie featuring Janel Parrish, watch Holly & Ivy because it's very well written, well acted and very touching. And if you're looking for a fun holiday movie featuring Tyler Hynes, watch An Unexpected Christmas.

Never Been Chris'd (2023) -

The two lead girls, Naomi (Janel Parrish) and Liz (Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes) were a bit much right from the start, as were Chris' friend group and all of the parents.

Naomi and Liz got progressively worse as the film moved on and I couldn't work out how Chris (Tyler Hynes) would ever fall for either of them. He was far too cool a character to be involved with any of the rest of them. But thank God for him, because we all know that I wouldn't have made it to the end of this film without Tyler's charming good looks and cheeky suaveness. Ultimately he was far too talented to be in this film surrounded by such terrible co-stars too. He was so effortless compared to everyone else's forced enthusiasm and extreme deliveries. They were all "On" all of the time and what I believe the kids call "Extra" and not in a good way.

I definitely thought about turning it off whenever Tyler wasn't on screen.

In the beginning I kept expecting some magic wish granting old lady to appear and give the girls a chance to go back in time and change things, because it seemed to be going that way, so it was a surprise that it ended up being just a constant stream of reuniting with people from high school when the two girls went home (To their small town) for Christmas whilst hoping to hear whether their app would get funding.

I did however like the fact that for the most part it was unclear who the gorgeous Chris would end up with and I was actually hoping that he would turn out to be gay so that the story would be all about the girls friendship being tested instead, just for something brand new from this genre. Although I did appreciate that this was a differently styled storyline anyway.

I also liked the inclusion of Hannukkah celebrations which wasn't forced and explained some of the festival's details and actually helped to make the film more festive and Christmassy somehow, with a generally warm and family orientated vibe of celebration and food.

The two ladies faced some decisions about their future as the film progressed and what they would do about their mutual attraction to Chris. This caused some obvious friction, but actually made the film less silly, because they were finally behaving like adults.

I enjoyed the general premise, but I felt that it could have been delivered a lot better and that some tweaks might have made the story even more solid, but in the end it was Tyler that saved it, because I would never have stuck all the way through it for just the giggly girls.

5.59/10.

This was so boring that I could barely pay attention. I don't know why Tyler Hines was even in it, except maybe to get us to watch it. His role seemed forced and didn't really fit.

Because it was basically about these two girls that I never really cared about at all. Not their friendship, not their history, and not their present.

And once again, what they showed us this movie was going to be about, never really materialized. Just like a movie with Alison Sweeney, about a card, which was about other characters that I also never cared about. It's the classic bait and switch.

So, I could barely give this movie a three. Even two seems too much.

It's a boring snooze that I will not watch again.