The Gardener

Beware folks, beware, this film is a total waste, a comedy, nothing else, not a gritty, bloody, brutal action thriller as you could expect. And the worst of the worst, the most unbearable, the most awful, gruesome element of the whole, is the presence of the horrible, slap head Michael Youn. Each time I tried to watch a movie with the slap head Michael Youn, I left after a few minutes. So, if you did not know the Slap Head Michael Youn, first, you missed nothing, and second, you have to prepare yourself, psychologically, I mean. It will be a shock, far more cruel than a Chinese torture, the absolute sadistic refinement that you may imagine. So, if you really have nothing else to do, escape from this crap at all costs; and choose THE BEE KEEPER or UNDER SIEGE - the Cook - instead THE GARDENER. JCVD is not a deception, he is just himself. No comment. He is not a slap head, he gives slaps....

When reviewing this film, there are two different perspectives. The first is that it brings back memories of '90s action and comedy films, which is a nostalgic experience. The second is that, when viewed from a modern standpoint, it can feel overly cringeworthy and a bit outdated. So rather than focusing on whether it's good or bad, it's more about reliving the feeling of classic action films. While there are plenty of action scenes, Van Damme's moments aren't as thrilling as before. Maybe it's because of his age, but his action sequences often rely on clever camera angles, and in some scenes, the stunt doubles are very noticeable. On the bright side, the film's music score brings back that old-school action vibe, and the cinematography is also a strong point. All in all, this is a light and easy watch, especially for those who miss the action films of the past.

STAR RATING: ***** Brilliant **** Very Good *** Okay ** Poor * Awful

Serge Shuster (Michael Youn) is a scatty-minded government minister, who finds himself on a government hit list, after a series of other officials are wiped out in quick succession. When a group of trained assassins invade his home, he is forced to defend himself and his family, with the help of Leo (Jean Claude Van Damme), the family gardener with a mysterious past, and a set of killing skills that come in handy.

In the words of the original martial arts action star Bruce Lee "it's better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war." That philosophy is put to the test by fellow, 65 year old martial arts star Jean Claude Van Damme, with his role in this peculiar French effort from writer/director David Charhon. Although with that in mind, he's co starring with fellow continental actor Michael Youn, both clearly dubbed, with only a thin line between madcap and methodical.

An action comedy is a concept that still has potential to work in execution, but the inconsistency in tone here is noticeably bouncy and unstable, with the main story and central characters becoming caught in the crossfire of this imbalance. It doesn't help that it outstays its welcome somewhat, overlong and with only a fairly standard action plot to sustain it. Sad truths, given Van Damme, although older now, can still pull off some impressive fight work, and even gets one or two laughs in, and the action in general is still enjoyable, keeping you hooked till the end, surprisingly gory here and there too.

There's some noticeable send ups of various action classics, including The Equalizer, First Blood and such, some of which hit the mark more than others. This ultimately emerges as a bizarre fusion of styles, that is sadly too overstuffed with all of them. ** and a half.

Le jardinier (2025), directed by David Charhon, is a political thriller that follows Serge, a man burdened with a state secret, and his family as they find themselves on a government death list. Along with their gardener Leo, they attempt to devise a plan to survive, all while being hunted by forces beyond their control. While the premise offers a thrilling setup full of tension and intrigue, the film struggles to fully capitalize on its potential.

The performances, while competent, don't fully resonate with the stakes of the story. The cast, including the lead actor, delivers their roles effectively, but the emotional depth required to truly engage the audience is lacking. The characters, particularly Serge, feel one-dimensional, and the relationships between them fail to develop in a way that could heighten the emotional impact of their dangerous situation.

The film's pacing is another issue. The suspense builds at a steady pace, but the plot often feels disjointed, as if key moments are rushed or underexplored. The intrigue of the government conspiracy and the tension of the family's survival are present but fail to fully engage the viewer due to the lack of significant twists or character development. The screenplay, written by Charhon, Vincent De Brus, and Sébastien Fechner, keeps the story moving, but it often relies on genre clichés that diminish the film's originality.

Visually, the film has a polished look, but the cinematography lacks the style and energy needed to elevate the suspense. There are moments of tension, but the film doesn't fully lean into its potential for creating an immersive, high-stakes atmosphere. Instead, the tension often fizzles out before reaching a satisfying climax.

While Le jardinier has a strong premise and offers some moments of excitement, its lack of emotional depth and reliance on predictable thriller tropes make it difficult to fully invest in the characters and their journey. It's a film that could have been far more engaging with stronger character development and a more intricate plot.

Rating: 4/10. A tense thriller with a solid premise, but hindered by underdeveloped characters, pacing issues, and a lack of emotional depth.

JCVD is aging and obviously he can't deliver the action pack movies he once did, but this movie surprised me when it comes to action. There is a fair share and altough some are obviously body doubles well hidden by camera angles and fast cuts (still a lot more bearable than Steven Seagal's last fews), it entertained me well in that departement. The fights are also bloody and violent.

That said, the story and the humor it try to portrait is so ...weird ! French is my first language, but i am from Quebec, so even tough i had no issue understanding everything in the native french language, some of the jokes really didn't land. That said a few did. Got to give credit where credit is due.

I think the major issue is the actor portraying Sergio, the familly dad who is under attack. He is such a caricature i doubt anyone would really behave like this in real life. While a few of his lines or the situations he end up in did land, a lot didn't. And at times i rolled my eyes a bit wanting to yell "Shut the F up !" at him. Maybe it was the goal as it was a bit of an ongoing joke that he talked too much and Van Damme too less.

In conclusion this is basically a french "Die Hard" but almost as a spoof. The story is really just a pitch to have a movie, as the "list" is barely explained beside the minimal stuff to have a movie.

Want to see JCVD as a man in his 70s killing dudes violently with gardener's tools? Then you may enjoy that movie. But if you ain't into the weird French humor you may find the story/characters very unsettling.

Hard to really give a rating to this one. I enjoyed the action, i enjoyed Van Damme, i laugh a few times, but i rolled my eyes a few more. Yeah well 6 out of 10 seem fair.

After Darkness of Men i had very little hope for Van Damme flicks but this one gave me back trust that he can still do entertaining action, even if his age obviously do show.