The Boyfriend

The most refreshing and wonderful series about being gay and the emotions involved that's ever been shown. Japanese culture of politeness and consideration above sex and self satisfying drama shine through.

Having been to Japan, this came as no surprise.

Yet the painful experience of self realisation and thought, the agony of their inability to know what seems so obvious to us in the west.

We can all learn from behaviour and kindness, about emotions and feelings and we can all be so much more generous than we often are.

You can't but help feel for all of them. Their strengths and weaknesses are in all of us.

Watch it calmly and quietly enjoy. It's a gem.

OK, so this is another show that shouldn't be judged by Western standards.

To American eyes, a couple of things might take some getting used to. The pace is often slow, the dialogue seemingly banal, and the subtitling awkward. Having a panel of five outside commentators is sometimes helpful, but just as often it's irritating (because some of the commentators themselves were kind of irritating, sorry).

But the fact that a show like this got made at all is a huge sign of progress. As an old gay man who is waaaaay too jaded, it was also refreshing, and a wake-up call, to see young gay men actually wanting to get to know each other and talk, instead of just jumping into the sack. I can only hope that Japanese LGBTQ teenagers who see this show will find it comforting, and maybe a revelation.

And Ikuo? Honey, if you ever need a sugar daddy...call me. :-)

I was pleasantly surprised by The Boyfriend. Not being in the mood to read subtitles, I opted for the English dubbed version and thoroughly enjoyed the first episode.

Past dating shows featuring gay men have been absolute train wrecks. Dating shows in general are ridiculous. Getting engaged sight unseen. 30 women dating one man. Manufactured villains. You know the deal.

This presents a more simple and realistic scenario. Six gay men looking for love and connection share a house together. In addition, they will run a coffee truck together as a way to increase their bond. They even come up with a fabulous name for it (with the help of A. I. but still.)

The men seem both kind and refreshingly sincere in their quest and I found myself rooting for them right away. The first night, each sends an anonymous note to someone who made a strong first impression on them. Their anxiousness in writing the note and subsequent desire to receive one was palpable.

There is a panel of 5 people who watch and comment on the actions of the unsuspecting young men. Some comments sincere, others snarky. This was a bit jarring as it gave me a "Truman Show" kind of vibe.

Still, after 1 episode I'm invested in these six men and hope they find what they are looking for. As I write this, there is only 1 other review so I'm hoping/encouraging more people give this show a chance. Regardless of sexual preference there is a lot to relate to.

I am very happy with this series. It is fast moving and shows a lot of characteristics of each guy. You will actually get to see their personalities cleary as they navigate working with each other and building relationships.

I have to say though I am not a fan of the panel that comments throughout each episode and basically just provides their opinions and gasp at some "events." It is actually quite annoying and think it would be better if they just eliminated that part of the series. They never provide anything the viewer is not already thinking...Reminds me of Gogglebox. Maybe if there was only two of them, it would be more acceptable, but the 5 of them rambling is just too much.

I am interested to see how all the relationships end up. It has to be awkward when you are a really nice person and someone has a romantic interest in you but you have no interest in them or someone you like is real forward and outgoing and you are shy and reserved. But, opposites attract. (Finished S01E06)

If you have watched Terrace House, the setting will be familiar, as will some of the faces on the talking panel that comment on the happenings in the series. Instead of three guys and three girls, we have eight single gay men, ranging from 22 to 36, moving into a share house, looking for connection and love. This represents a huge step for Japan where most queer establishments remain discreet or underground, sending the message to queer Japanese people that they have to stay invisible.

The Boyfriend takes Japanese gay culture to the mainstream and on the biggest streaming platform, so its significance cannot be overstated. However, it suffers from a visibly low budget, which hampers the natural development of relationships between the men and results in a very static atmosphere. It makes me wonder whether the lack of funding has anything to do with the sexuality of the housemates.

The house pales in comparison to the luxury displayed in seasons of Terrace House, which allowed the housemates to go about their regular lives and their interactions were mostly unscripted. Here, the men are tasked with operating a coffee truck to earn extra income to supplement their daily meal allowance of 6000 yen, which is only US$5 per person. We also do not get to see them interact with each other in their natural environments outside of The Green Room.

Instead of focusing on the dynamics between the housemates, as we saw in Terrace House, there are banal distractions like negotiating the budget for one housemate's penchant for boiled chicken. With only one ostensibly queer person on the panel, almost serving as a cultural representative, the straight members of the panel were out of their depth when commenting about nuances between the gay men that they do not comprehend.

Of all the housemates, Usak, the Adonis gogo dancer, showed a moment of rare vulnerability when he expressed that he did not know who he was because he has been so dependent on meeting the expectations of others to the expense of his authenticity. This is true for many gay men and it arises from a fear of rejection. When they have faced rejection from family, community and society for as long as they have been gay, it seems unnecessarily cruel to set these men up for further rejection through gimmicks, such as writing each other anonymous letters, for the sake of creating drama and suspense, instead of encouraging direct and open communication.

Despite being a much belated pioneer of its kind in Japan, I struggle to rate The Boyfriend any higher due to its severe limitations. If granted the budget of Terrace House and a more diverse panel, it has the potential to be much better. It is still worth watching for one particular duplicitous and capricious heartbreaker of a housemate; he is the epitome of never "judging a book by its cover".