Suicide Blondes

Paul Chaplin not so famously funded the short-lived British porn label Bluebird Films, which in retrospect seems to have been merely a vehicle for him to have sex with Adult Cinema actresses. Certainly in the annals of porn sleaziness he's right up there with such negative icons as Guccione and Raymond.

In this pitiful excuse for a DVD, he's on screen for 2 and a half hours, having sex with nearly a dozen beauties, all the while delivering a horrendous pseudo-Bogie impression as a mysterious figure who appears fantasy-like on the scene to repetitively save the vignette heroines from committing suicide. His improvised patter is that of a simpleton.

The only segment that tries for some style is a neo-noir scene shot in color in which the great Danish actress Denice K. (see her in Paul Thomas's underrated classic "My Wife's Best Friend") starts to play Russian Roulette, but is disarmed and then humped by Chaplin.

Other modes of suicide include hanging, slitting of wrists, pills, booze, rooftop jumping and carbon monoxide from one's car's exhaust. None of it is interesting at all, and when Chaplin shows up over & over audible groans from distant viewers (if anyone other than myself is willing to sit through this junk) will be emitted.

Steve Hooper rather pointlessly guests as a priest, who digs sex but must even share his scene with Chaplin. The idiot doesn't even believe in consistency, as one of the would-be suicide girls (Denice) isn't even a blonde.