Mujeres del planeta prehistórico

With a title like "Women of the Prehistoric Planet" I envisioned a Lost World type movie in which scantily-clad amazonian beauties ride dinosaurs, fight against half-animal savages and a harsh, unforgiving environment. But with only one women, some forced perspective lizards that com-bust on impact, and a bunch of white guys straight out of the U.S. Navy, one can only wonder what the creators of this movie were thinking when they came up with the title.

To be fair, there are some legitimate scientific ideas that are dealt with in the movie, even if the writers don't understand how they really work. For example, the writers were correct in saying that when you travel near the speed of light time slows down, so that a three week journey for the astronauts aboard the spaceship is perceived by those on the planet as taking eighteen years. However, the perception of the people down on the planet has nothing to do with the speed of the planet's rotation but the way in which the planet's matter distorts the space time continuum.

The real plot of this movie is that a spaceship (Cosmos III) is hijacked by the primitive Centurions (a.k.a., non-white people) who probably perform menial domestic services for the crew aboard the spaceship. The ship crash lands on an unexplored planet with only a few survivors. Another ship in the vicinity (Cosmos IV?), moving at nearly the speed of light, travels to rescue the survivors (a three week journey on the spaceship, but an eighteen year wait on the planet). Once on the ground a group of idiots looking like U.S. Navy officers are dispatched to find the crash site. Meanwhile, a beautiful Centurion girl (the ultra-sexy Irene Tsu as Linda) wanders off and encounters a mysterious stranger named Tang who is also a Centurion. Obviously, he's the son of the survivors of the crash eighteen years earlier.

The story of Linda and Tang is probably the most interesting aspect of this movie. Through their adventures together they fall in love but must still deal with the tension of growing up in two very different environments. The other aspect of the plot has to do with clumsy idiots falling off logs into acid pools and shooting at anything that moves with their ultra high tech .44 pistols. The ending of this movie will surprise no one.

I must be used to the STAR TREK series plus its affiliated spinoffs plus CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND or maybe ET etc, but with this film, I have problems.

There really is no chemistry between the actors. They speak to one another, but there is no comraderie. Everybody is put into his or her little box and that is where they stay.

The only good things about this movie, as far as I feel are Tang (Robert Ito in pre-QUINCY days) and Irene Tsu. I actually felt that they really cared for each other. There was the chemistry that was missing from the rest of the movie.

I also liked Lt. Bradley (Paul Gilbert). Why would they have such a clown in the midst of a bunch of zombies. His energies were wasted.

The ending caught me off guard. I won't divulge it, but I'm going to look at this movie again tonight to see if I can pick up any clues as to what was revealed at end time of this movie.

Another one of those 1960s sci-fi movies whose poor production standards set your teeth on edge -- but in this case the cast is a hoot!

A space expedition comprised of the prolific John Agar, Wendell Corey ("Cyborg 2087"), Lyle Waggoner ("The Carol Burnette Show"), night club comedian Paul Gilbert (the comic relief), and Stuart Magolin (Angel from "The Rockford Files") lands on an alien world (a studio set), populated by dinosuars (stock-footage lizards) and prehistoric humanoids.

The astronauts provide assistance to two local inhabitants, a man and a woman who serve as a kind of Adam and Eve for this strange world -- which turns out to be Earth! This twist ending was done so often on the Twilight Zone it will never surprise anybody again.

The male humanoid's name is Tang and the female's is Linda ( . . . Linda?). Admittedly the story attempts to interject a few interesting elements; in addition to the roaring lizards, there's a carnivorous plant and a king-sized spider. Remember, I said they TRIED, okay?

Surprisingly intelligent 60s space movie.

The title suggests we are in for sexy girls in stone age clothing - wrong! We get a tiny bit of that but this flick was named this way to draw in the male cinema goers!

Instead we get a space movie with some well thought out ideas. The first 30 or 40 minutes of this movie is so well done. I have no problem with the studio sets that are meant to pass as an alien planet. The planet creatures could have been better.

I will say the first half of the flick is better than the second half. However, I had a very faded print and I feel it needs to be seen remastered before I can fully judge it.

I can say one thing, everyone involved was obviously trying to make this movie special. Give it a go.

The chance to comment on this film(?) finally made me register.

I saw this late at night and watched with delight, wondering just how bad it could get. That was thirty years ago, so if you're looking for accurate scene descriptions and dialogue quotes, don't expect them here. But here's my hazy, loving memories.

1. Wendell Corey, playing the captain of the space ship, half plastered and obviously paying off a bet with a one afternoon performance, standing in front of a blank wall with a porthole in it while someone on the other side waves a sparkler.

Corey: "Looksh like another meteor shtorm..."

2. The spaceship crashing in the swamp... The miniature they used must hve been about the size of a pencil stub, since it went "bloop" and tossed up one single drop of water which on that scale would have been considerably bigger than a bungalow.

3. The prehistoric woman herself, a dark, hirsute beauty, wearing a bearskin teddy and looking hopefully at the director for direction after each line of dialogue.

4. One set, obviously built while they still had twenty seven dollars to burn, that consisted of a cave full of giant toadstools and human skeletons. After sneaking around outside for what seems to be several days, a patrol from the spaceship enters.

The patrol leader's perplexed comment: "There's something suspicious about this place..."

That's where I lost it completely and rolled around on the floor.

Well, you had to be there.