Robo Vamp

It wasn't until the end of this film that I realized it was essentially two movies, both of which on their own could have qualified as pure tripe. One is the the robot vs. vampire story that the title suggests. The other is a more straightforward good guys vs. drug gang movie. Although I have only seen the movie once, I believe you will find that the characters from the one plot line NEVER appear in the exact same shot with the characters from the other plot line. It really is two movies, edited together.

This movie is an absolute riot. I highly recommend it. The first time I saw the robot, I laughed so hard a friend had to pause the film to let me recover. The hopping vampires...oh my, they are perhaps the silliest things to appear in film since the 1950's. The whole thing makes Dr. Who look like it was done by ILM.

For those connoisseurs of bad movies, please get this film. You will not regret it.

This movie is so terrible that it is wrong for one to own it. it must be viewed then instantly given away.(Trust me you wont have the urge to watch it again!) I say it should be called the Ring because 7 days after making it all of the actors careers DIED! Check the filmographies...its true. The only one who had a career after this movie was uncredited in the film! (good decision)My vote for worst film ever and for that reason all should at least see it once! Remember pass it along don't keep it to yourself. I was given a copy just over a year ago and that copy is now circulating through North Carolina at last check. Enjoy!

Tomas Tang launches yet another cinematic stercolith onto the bewildered general public in this absolutely insane Robocop inspired/hopping vampires/action/love story(!!!) Well, to describe the end result as not making any sense would be a gross understatement; In fact, watching this you'll very quickly find yourself rendered mouth agape in gormless disbelief as the random on screen events flash by before your bleary eyes! But, let this not put you off viewing this cinematic mess, for despite the completely nonsensical nature of it all, it is strangely captivating in a very bizarre way....much akin to being hypnotised in fact! So, what the hell is exactly going on in this? Well, in all honesty your guess is about as good as mine and I've just only just finished watching it! From what I could discern, the story centres around a bunch of drug smugglers who take the unusual step of employing a corrupt Taoist priest/sorcerer to resurrect vampires in order to stash their drugs inside them(!) But wait, for it gets even more bizarre! One of the vampires raised called the 'Vampire Beast' (on account of the cheap fx gorilla mask the relevant actor is wearing), is the ex lover of a lady ghost who shows up, none to happy that her boyfriend is being used so thus preventing the two of them from passing to the afterlife together. So what does the word 'Robo' in the films title pertain to you might ask? Well, in yet another bizarre plot tangent, an American agent is killed by the Vampire Beast and is brought back to life as a cheap looking Robo-Cop clone in order to battle the forces of evil. Yes, this is truly bewildering stuff that really needs to be seen to be believed.......the only trouble being that even whilst watching this, you STILL won't believe it!

The reason this movie isn't at the top of the "worst ever" list is simply that it's not yet as well-known (or infamous) as "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Manos," or "The Beast of Yucca Flats." This is one of those movies that makes you gape in disbelief. The ludicrous storyline pits Robo Warrior (who's dressed in floppy silver coveralls, motorcycle goggles, and a car radio antenna) against a cadre of traditional Chinese hopping vampires. The vampires are being controlled by drug dealers, naturally enough, who employ a Taoist monk to help them create a Vampire Beast. Said beast is a guy in a Mandarin robe and a gorilla mask! Then the Beast's dead finacee, a girl in a see-through nightie, shows up, and the pushers decide the couple should go ahead and get married... But that's only half of the movie. There's also ample footage cut in from another movie, a generic Asian-made shoot 'em up. In my favorite scene, the slow-walking Robo chases the slow-hopping Beast in the pokiest slow-speed chase since OJ and the LAPD. If Ed Wood had lived to see "RoboCop" and "A Chinese Ghost Story," this is the movie he might have made. It's that bad. And it's that good. Scour the bargain bins for this one.

What do you get when you put two completely unrelated films together? You get the incomprehensible mess known as Robo Vampire, that's what! Seriously, this film is two films, one what basically incorporated an earlier film to pad out the film they were making. Robo Vampire is what they were making and I am not sure what the other film was, but it was obviously a film that did not feature any robot army men or vampires. Then again, the Robo Vampire portion of the film does not really feature any vampires either as it features what appear to be zombies and a ghost woman!

The story, oh boy, this is going to be a tough one. Seems there is a drug war going on and there are inexplicably zombies/vampires around so the drug dealers get the incredible idea to use these creatures to stop the drug agents from stopping them! Well, the drug agents create a cyborg to combat the vampires! Meanwhile, an agent is kidnapped after some priest who was hoarding cocaine was killed and another agent is sent to rescue her having a completely separate adventure than the vampires or the robot resides in!

The film is all over the place as it is a mashup of two films so one minute you are watching a robot battling hopping zombies and the next you are watching two people jumping out of a cable car. Not sure why they decided to fuse these two films together, but you do get a rather interesting mess to view.

So, this film is not good, but at least it's not boring. I mean, you start getting tired of a scene and then you are violently hurled into another completely random scene! The robot in the title looks like crap, basically a dude wearing tinfoil and oven mitts or something and he carries around a big gun that he can make come to him and that is about the extent of his powers. Not sure why they felt the need to deploy vampires against him as the rocket launcher took him out! Just a total mess of a film that relies on the viewer being able to meld two films that have nothing to do with each other together. Not an easy feat...