Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos

If you want to see the most glorious show to ever grace a television screen, you need look no further than Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos. I believe the show was most likely written as a part of a zoological experiment to test the age old question about whether or not a room full of monkeys would eventually write Shakespeare. The answer of course is that they wrote something of a much greater magnitude. To quote the shows complete rip-off of Short-Round from Temple of Doom this show is "Too Much!". The show plays at 5 a.m. on Adult Swim, I suggest you watch it as I am convinced it is the only true way to become one with the universe. Also Chuck Norris is a Bad-ass and this show taught me how to deal with bullies (not the actual episode however, just Chucks live introduction, as the actual episode had nothing to do with bullying)

"Chuck Norris, Karate Kommandos" is one of the several dozen TV shows based around an action hero to come out in the mid-80's. This show, as far as action cartoons are concerned, hit all the right spots.

Pointless explosions? Check. Complete and utter disregard for continuity (i.e. Chuck Norris riding a motorcycle one second, and suddenly appearing on the back of a truck without ever showing how he got there)? Check. Children constantly in peril? Check. Ninjas, ninjas, and more ninjas? Check.

All of this, and Mr. Norris' physique which in this cartoon is about twice as buff as the actual guy (which is clear because he spends most of the show shirtless, for some reason). Even funnier, they call this show "Karate Commandos", but there's a minimal emphasis on "Karate." Most of the action involves laser guns and falling steel beams. The funniest scene I remember on this show is where Chuck Norris steals a bike from a little kid, and the kid gets all upset. Then Chuck Norris, as he heads off towards evildoers (via the kid's bike), turns back to the kid (and his friends) and says "It's Ok, Kids! I'm Chuck Norris!"

At the beginning and end of every episode, the REAL Chuck Norris, usually at a Gym or Martial Arts Studio, would talk to the camera - or us, the audience - about the moral of the day's episode, whether it be telling the truth, being a good friend, or... in an ironic turn, not stealing things from others. I guess that doesn't include bicycles?