Avaruuden teurastajat

This is a great gore film! A meteorite carrying deadly virus, falls on earth. The virus makes the dead walk and eat the flesh of the living. Simo and Lauri from U.F.O. Control are sent to kill every zombie in sight and they sure do their job!

This is a Finnish homemade movie made by a bunch of teenagers in the spirit of good old Bad Taste (altought this piece of s**t will make Bad Taste look like Apocalypse Now). UFO is landed on earth bringing virus which turns people into zombies and two guys goes to hunt them down. In practice this means two teenagers wandering around the forest and shooting these "zombies" whenever they see them. Doesn't this sound good or what? There are few "actors" playing many parts each and most of the dialogue is just reusing one sentence: "What the f*ck?". It really isn't even unintentionally funny, just boring, even 68 minutes is really pushing it! Can't say that this would be even a turkey, more like a wannabe turkey. Best part in this is one music track stolen from Lucio Fulci's "The Beyond" which is used few times throughout this movie.

There is not much scenario to this, and the little story it has is of your typical, unoriginal zombie flick. The production values are horrendous as well. In that regard Avaruuden Teurastajat probably is the poorest movie I've ever seen. This shows in the miserable screen quality, probably also caused by the messed up compression of the .wmv file that I downloaded from Avaruuden Teurastajat's movie company Trash Video (what's in a name?). Apart from that, the special effects are pathetic to say the least, something that can also be said of the acting. In that light it's a good thing that this film doesn't need a decent script, quality cinematography or Oscar worthy performances; in the contrary, it's the utter absence of these factors that give this Finnish home video its charm and very high entertainment value. Apart from that, the dialogs and horror scenes are funny as hell in their, almost absurd inferiority. Add to this the hilarious English subtitles that actors Matti Kuusniemi and Aatto Paasonen added to the flick in 2005, and what you have is a highly entertaining piece of pulp. If ultimate crap is your cup of tea, this movie is a must!

This is one of those movies which make you say WOW! It is so good that I can't describe it!