Rage of Ninja

Here we are again with yet another of those ever endearing, dementedly inept cut and splice ninja outings to spring forth from Hong Kong during the 1980's ninja-mania.

Plot wise these oddities seldom made much sense (as one would fully expect considering that two or sometimes even more films are being awkwardly edited together!) and it comes as little surprise therefore to find that this particular entry in the genre to be following the exact same trend. The bizarre story centres around an evil ninja (played by Cornish born actor Mike Abbott) trying to get his hands on a manual that will somehow (it's never explained how!) make him 'The Ultimate Ninja'(!) Added to this we have the story (from a separate film!) of Steve, who comes home one night to find his wife having intimate relations (ahem) with a young stud. Understandably none too impressed with this, Steve proceeds to give the young whippersnapper a jolly good beating. In fact such a beating that Steve, believing himself to have killed the man, is compelled to do a bunk and go on the run. He eventually ends up holed up in a house and holding the lone female occupant hostage. However, in a somewhat unlikely plot development, the woman ends up falling in love with him! Erm....fair enough.... But that's not all, for matters take an even more dramatic turn when a gang of ninja jewellery thieves decide to terrorise the pair and it is revealed that Steve is in fact a ninja to!!!!!!!

Meanwhile in the other (and much better) story, our evil head ninja is still trying to get his hands on the manual he so craves. However, wouldn't you just know it but the manual is held by, yes you've guessed it, yet another ninja!!! Bloody hell, is anyone actually NOT a ninja in these films?! Matters come to a climax in a public park (as most of these movies do!) wherein the two ninja battle it out to the death whereby we get to witness what must surely rank as one of the most abrupt screen exits in movie history!

So is any of this worth watching you may well ask. Well, whilst it has to be said that the segments in this centring around Steve's adventures are pretty much mind numbing, as usual the newly edited in ninja shenanigans are truly priceless! I'm not sure if Mike Abbott was given the chance to overdub his own voice (bearing in mind the ninja segments in these movies were recorded without sound) or another Cornish/West Country artist lent his voice to the lines but either way the end result is absolutely hilarious. You simply have not lived until you have witnessed a supposed evil ninja call various people 'baaaa-studs!' and in another scene, whilst rebuking one of his cronies, calling him 'A pain in the arrrse!'

Yes indeed, yet more quality crap from the Ho'ster! Highly recommended!

Initially it was incomprehensible to me, then I realised that it was actually 3 films cut together. What a fool I was, I was wrong - it is a coherent whole!

The stages: bewilderment, despair, understanding, hilarity, despair again: these you, the seeker will find. What you miss is THE MANUAL!

3 film theory: This is a poor action movie, abominable soft porn and something else (unknown) cut together randomly. In reality bad guy (name forgotten) good guy (likewise) and good guy (steve) came from the same ninja empire. One of them has the dreaded manual - a guide to becoming the ULTIMATE NINJA!

Who has it? Who will win? Will good guy (2)'s ex wife keep her clothes on at all?

"You know what I want! only the manual can save your life!" "come and get it!" "Yooooouuu baastard!"

rapid gunfire etc...

If you like films that arent very good at all then buy it, buy it now!

If not, don't!

I begged a friend to watch this with me, both watching remotely on a free service, and riffing on the movie's countless bizarre scenes.

Reading other reviews, the hypthosis that this is multiple moves cut together, makes a lot of sense.

Some of the high points of the movie ( or low points, you be the judge) Ninjas wearing headbands that say ninja

A woman who is slapped around, tied up, called a whore, let tied up overnight, then when released by her captor, seemingly falls in love with him ( some weird Stockholm thing?)

An obnoxious female who shows up at the house of the woman mentioned above, then keeps throwing herself at this guy that the woman above seems to have fallen for...not weird, nope

Multicolored ninjas battling, in many cases by doing many backflips, and sometimes pulling out weapons like submachine guns

Some Ninjas who seem to be in it for some jewelry theft, while other ninjas who seem to be trying to get the ultimate ninja battle.

Many scenes which seem to make no sense at all, maybe because of this being some unknown number of movies cut together

Ninjas who instantly change from street clothes into ninja clothes I guess in the same way the TV Diana Prince changed to wonderwoman

The subtitled movie music cues were awesome. Dark electronic music. Upbeat electronic music. Tense electronic music. Hilarious.

Get some friends who love bad martial arts movies. Maybe an adult beverage. Enjoy this very bad series of movie scenes. Try to figure out which scene is from what theoretical movie.

RAGE OF NINJA/RAGE OF A NINJA is a hard film to review. I like it, and think it's a lot of fun. However, it's hard to pass over the long stretches of nothing that typify Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai's "style" during the IFD days. Is a 6 a low score here? Not necessarily. The film is better than average! However, the more friends you trick into seeing this, the funnier this movie becomes.

Mike Abbot is probably one of my favorite of the Ho actors. Something about his bug-eyes, unshapely teeth, and Cornish accent (e.g., "YEW BASSTID") leave a firm impression. This is probably his single best performance in any of the Ho movies (note: honorable mention goes to Ninja Knight: Thunder Fox), mainly because he has the chance to be in fight scenes, villainous plotting scenes, scenes where he kills someone by splashing an energy drink in their face, and toward the end, one of the most hilarious pantomime actions in any Godfrey Ho movie. It's right after that phone call. You'll know it when you see it.

The point being: Mike gets to have a lot of fun in this role, and that fun rubs off on us, meaning we have a good time, too.

I haven't mentioned Marko Ritchie, the film's hero and "star" yet, because dramatically, he's on the thespian level of sandpaper. The plot of the movie is quite clear-cut for a Ho Ninja movie: Marko Ritchie has a manual that Mike Abbot wants, and he won't give it to Mike. Abbot believes the "MANYUL" will turn him into the "ULTIMATE NINJA!" (the film's infamous best scene and tour de force of Abbot's acting ability), and he periodically sends out goons to harass Marko to get said manyul. These scenes are really precious to behold, and are so zany and bizarre it feels like you are watching a work of genius, all the way up to the film's bizarrely surreal abrupt ending, which is the cap on this fine film.

But this is a Godfrey Ho film! The ninja footage can't be more than 15 minutes total, and the rest of the run time consists of some unfinished crime drama movie that is -----barely----- related to the plot, aside from some hilarious blink-and-you-miss-them attempts at bridging the stories. This movie centers around an Asian man named Steve. Ol' Stevo was trying to break up a jewelry-thief-circle (run by Mike Abbot), but after nearly beating a man to death for having sex with his wife (another goon working for Abbot - adultery, theft, this guy must control all vice in Hong Kong!), he goes on the run hiding out in the expansive estate of some rich girl. He ties her to the bed and smacks the stuffing out of her, but she is apparently into that, because the next scene she's in love. Women, I tell ya.

This begins the film's weakest parts. Watch as Ho lovingly left in an extended five minute scene of a girl washing her leg in a bath. It's five minutes, but will feel like fifteen. Watch another scene as people play badminton for a while and talk. Sometimes Steve will fight someone, sometimes there will be a random gang of orgy-rapists on a beach having a barbecue, but it will mostly be the most inane queasy banter between Steve and Girl. Sometimes Ho strikes it rich with a fun, interesting subplot (see: Ninja Terminator). Here, it's dull. But that dullness itself becomes fun to watch with the right group of friends. It accentuates the ninja scenes so much that it magnifies their entertainment value.

If you have friends and you want to watch a Godfrey Ho movie, I would probably recommend starting with Ninja Terminator. However, if you've seen a couple of Ho films, RAGE OF NINJA is one I can recommend with some reservations. It's one of my personal favorites of Ho's work for all its badness. Just make sure you're not watching it alone. Misery, after all, loves company.

I've seen many people call Godfrey Ho movies "funny" or "so bad they're good" but I see it differently. After viewing 3 of his films (this one being the last) I can honestly say that he is the most boring director ever.

KEEP IN MIND: I DID NOT GO INTO THIS MOVIES EXPECTING TO HATE THEM. Actually, it's quite the opposite. I wanted to like this movie as a crazy, fun, schlocky, martial Arts film. I LOVE cult films. The more obscure and tailored to a niche audience, the more I like 'em. And you can't get more Cult than old Kung Fu movies. But this was just plain bad. I'll give it one thing, the beginning was fun and quotable (The "manual", anyone?) but it was only a tease as to what this movie could've been. The rest is a stitched together mess, and that's not a coincidence. It consists or 3 - 4 films cut together sloppily (obviously to make a quick buck). Godfrey Ho has gone on record saying that that is exactly how he does it. He mostly used footage from unreleased or unfinished films made in his native Hong Kong as well as Taiwan, Thailand, The Philippines, and China. That's how he has <150 movie credits from 1970 to 1990. If there is a way to make this Frankenstein form of filmmaking work, please show me. Until then, sorry to say, Rage or Ninja was a disappointing mess.