Playboy Video Playmate Calendar 1993

Take one of their biggest (no pun intended), most popular Playmates and mix in a bunch of other lovely names and you have a recipe for success. '1993 Calendar' doesn't change the formula, but it continues to work. The only thing I don't get is the runtime. Only 55 mins? Okay.

"January" is Vicki Smith (aka Anna Nicole) - May 92, PMOTY 1993 - who started by using her real name. At a country line bar she dances, strips which wasn't new to me, but still packs a punch. Second scene of her in a vest, chaps at a campfire remains hot too (4.5 mins). "February" is Angela Melini - Jun 1992 - in different shots or clothes playing baseball. It settles down to primarily getting out of a grey dress, but also upskirt flashes from a red dress. Second plays up her Asian roots including how she's dressed, hair, background scenery. She looks fantastic and the nude visuals deliver nicely (4 mins).

"March" is Tanya Beyer - Feb 1992 - in a few different dresses, but the action you care about doesn't start until she's shown completely naked next to an indoor pool. Tanya on a lounger in the backyard of a mansion keeps the changing clothes component, but more naked views (4 mins). "April" is Cheryl Bachman - Oct 1991 - and she has a undeniable exotic look you notice from the pictorial they use to highlight her down to her in motion. In a silky red piece of lingerie which is off quick enough a closeup of her butt, boobs from overhead stand out. Honestly the whole segment is great. Various views outdoors follow whenever in a dress, silver bikini, in a bathtub. A shot of pouring water down her boobs from a jug stand out, but so do many others. Great stuff from a Playmate I wasn't familiar with (4.5 mins).

"May" is Cady Cantrell - Apr 1992 - who delivers outdoors on a bridge over water in white lingerie or in a boat topless in a dress. The poses are simple, but Cady looks hot. Her in a bustier on a pink lit set as she rotates around is nice too. The minimal lighting sometimes obscures a better view, but it's also erotic (5 mins). "June" is Corinna Harney - Aug 1991, PMOTY 1992 - wasting no time being shown off. Flavorful shot of her butt in thong bottoms before those come off and more than a few completely naked. Dancing with a man gets introduced, but it's the solo shots you'll like. Her butt gets shown a ton. Now outdoors in a desert setting she's naked from the start. Standing, laying down and at one point her butt, boobs are oiled up (5 mins).

"July" is Wendy Kaye - Jul 1991 - who talks about a love for summer. Quickly the focus is on her getting naked at a beach. Thong bikini bottoms, getting splashed by the waves amongst other shots. Then inside an abandoned building she goes between fully nude in shots to wearing red lingerie. However it doesn't last long a night time scene with either only a chain vest on her chest or nothing at all. The good news is you see plenty of her naked (4.5 mins). "August" is Samantha Dorman - Sept 1991 - a pretty brunette with big hair. They show her running in slow-mo allowing for a quick moment of bouncing joy (they know their audience). Then it's topless in a field, on a swing clothed or nude. Then in a bustier next to a fireplace. It cuts between here and her completely nude standing or on a bed (4.5 mins).

"September" is Suzi Simpson - Jan 1992 - looking sexy, dancing up a storm in only a loincloth in a cave to start. Soon it's topless and fully nude. Laying on her side, on all fours - the usual poses get checked off. Now inside a mansion Suzi is shown in and out of white lingerie, but amount of good shots has gone way down (3.5 mins). "October" is Wendy Hamilton - Dec 1991 - who plays up her Detroit origins in a garage that delivers nicely. Looking good in various clothes, greasy or fully nude. Then she's on a balcony in blue lingerie with her hair down. Plenty of yummy shots focus on her trimmed bush. It doesn't go super long though before she's getting out a black coat and then out of her matching bra, panties below. Unfortunately they bounce B&W images from a vintage movie off her body which ruins the visuals (4.5 mins).

"November" is Tylyn John - Mar 1992 - straight to motorbike riding on a set. Only when they let loose with the rain machine and she gets all wet in shots does this approach decent. Her in and out of different dresses next has moments, but jumps around. Pulling off a thong a nice visual though and a lingering shot of her laying out (3.5 mins). "December" is Tonja Christensen - Nov 1991 - posing up against hay bails or swinging on a tire swing inside a barn. From lingerie to fully nude per usual, but it's the music that keeps the scene at a high point. Posing in & out of lingerie comes next and stays mostly at the topless level (4 mins).

In a lot of ways '1993 Calendar' is Playboy's standard experience. I was surprised by some ladies while known names brought it from the start. Quality issues pop up on route to the finish, but the whole thing is more than watchable. Many sexy naked ladies and no ugly parts. Solid view.

JAN:

You talk like Melanie Griffith And you dance like a drunken bear Your clothes would embarrass a Texan Ain't no diamond and I weep in despair, yes I do

FEB:

You live in a fantasy apartment Your dad is a Vietnam vet Where he listened to Rolling Stones records Met your mum, came back over here, you say he did

MAR:

You go to the mansion parties Where you talk to some god-awful geek And the old men with eyes in baggy circles Check your chest, don't hear when you speak, yes they do

APR:

I've seen all your qualifications You got them, you saucy one And the panting you don't hear me do, so I'll just keep going on and on, yes I will

MAY:

You take off your clothes on location You've got a cute set of pins You don't need a designer topless swimsuit You'll get an even sunburn, on your back, and on your legs

JUN:

And when the lights burn you're found in a tiz By the others of the film set When you strip I become randy But I'll never get your lips wet, no I won't

JUL:

You're in between thirty and forty Never acted your age Your body is no longer exciting But you're at that pay-bill stage, yes you are, yes you are

AUG:

You put on such airs and graces You look like Genghis Khan I'd rather have a race horse for Christmas It'll be a lot more fun, I won't barf, ha ha ha

SEP:

They say that when you get married It'll be to a millionaire Like Miss January, from Texas she came from And I wonder if I really care, yes I do, damn

OCT:

So Detroit has no shortage of nipples Two items looking like bags Both touched by a plastic surgeon To stop them from starting to sag, he tried

NOV:

So look inside the next Marie Claire Tells women just who they are But they won't stay young forever In this video there's no old age scars, cellulite, dyed hair do

DEC:

I know where you go to, my playmate I don't care what's inside your head I know about losers that surround you Cause I want to climb inside your bed

Do-do-do-da-da....(Just count yourself lucky it wasn't Rod McKuen)