In my experience, most avid fans of scary movies prefer a heavy metal riff over the electronic rhythms of urban music, but that hasn't stopped several film-makers from mixing rap with the red stuff, hip-hop with horror, and 'phat' beats with bloodcurdling screams. Hood of Horror, for example, was a gory horror anthology presented by rap legend Snoop Dogg, while Leprechaun in tha Hood saw OG Ice-T going head to head with the little Irish fellow with the pot of gold. To my surprise, I actually enjoyed both of these films, and despite being a lifelong rocker, I found myself warming to the whole urban music/horror movie concept—until The Horrible Dr. Bones, that is...
A z-grade effort from director Ted Nicolaou (hiding behind the pseudonym Art Carnage), this torpid tale of terror stars Darrow Igus as Dr. Bones, an evil music impresario who hires up 'n' coming act The Urban Protectors (or is that 'Tha Urban Protectaz'?) as part of his plan to rule the world by combining voodoo chants with the band's live music, thus turning listeners into obedient slaves; similarly, director Ted Nicolaou carries out his dastardly plan to create an army of brain-dead zombies by exposing viewers to a potent combination of terrible script, incredibly dull direction, and risible bargain-basement digital effects. A couple of passable music numbers and the presence of the rather lovely Sarah Scott Davis (as the band's bootylicious lead singer Lisa) narrowly prevented me from fully lapsing into a catatonic state, but it was a close thing. Don't risk having your mind turned to mush by Ted—avoid The Horrible Dr. Bones like the plague.
I rate this film a low, low 2.5 out of 10 (generously rounded up to 3 for IMDb), which, amusingly, is still one of the best scores from all of the current reviewers.
