What to Do on a Date

Man, if only I could have dated a hip, cool dude like that gawky teen! Think of the fun we miss these days... weenie roasts, bike rides, and tacking paper elephants to ceilings. This "how-to" film really sets the tone for squeaky clean fun. I just wish they'd made a sequel... "What To Do on Your Second Date"

Such as this one. While it was nice and cute in the 1950s, and reflected the morals of the time, today it is viewed as an antiquated piece of dated trash. I found it to be rather so-so. Not bad, but not great either. The story about Nick and his nerves on choosing a date is a timeless one, but how the story is handled is quite dated.

More fun thanks to MST and daydreamers of the 1950's. Gangly oaf Nick can't get the nerve to ask Kay out on a date. She's seen Wagon Train already and will not see it again. Nick's friend suggest a scavenger sale with cokes, streamers and paper elephants. Most people see this as geeky, but this means one thing that should make guys happy, KAY IS EASILY ENTERTAINED!! She also likes taffy pulls and weenie roasts too. And she doesn't mind if the guy is cheap. THIS IS FANTASY!! Where are these women? Unfortunately we don't get to see Nick and Kay's future adventures and these taffy pulls, bike rides, Bali puppet shows and illegal border crossings. One can speculate that they live happily ever after magically not having sex yet having lots of children!!

Nick's in a situation most of us have experienced: he's got a crush on a cute girl but he's too nervous to do anything about it. A little push never hurt in a situation like this, and Nick's friend Jeff is there to goad him into asking Kay out. Before Nick realizes it, he and Kay are off to help set up the local scavenger sale at the community center.

During Nick and Kay's Big Night Out, the helpful narrator gives advice on the types of dates young couples might find enjoyable and appropriate. It seems this community center keeps a running list of activities that Nick realizes would be good date fodder, and how he failed to know about it before is anyone's guess.

There was no community center list of activities when I was dating. I was on the hook to come up with my own events, so I was less interested in the advice this short had to offer than I was in the way they presented it.

Most fascinating is Nick, our leading man and the audience's surrogate on this journey. With his dopey speech and general childlike demeanor, Nick seems to exist in a perpetual state of bewilderment. He probably tested just over the intelligence threshold for public education. I suspect Jeff promised Nick's mother back in first grade to take Nick under his wing and keep him out of trouble. That would explain Jeff's condescendingly paternal attitude toward Nick, a position of power he seems to enjoy. Rather than taking comfort in this association like Steinbeck's Lenny, however, Nick senses he's being patronized and pushes back. Their whole "friendship" seethes with passive- aggressive animosity.

Nick also evinces neediness in virtually every situation. Once the date with Kay is scheduled, Nick begins badgering Jeff with questions about the scavenger sale. He asks Kay several times if she is having a good time, if she's glad she went out with him, etc. I was no ladies' man in my single days, but even I knew that bugging your date for constant affirmation is a good way to inspire her to end the night early.

Nick pushes hard for that second date, despite the fact that Kay really doesn't seem to be much of a catch. She puts the kibosh on the movie he invites her to because she's already seen it. When she gets called away at the scavenger sale, she goes! No "Sorry, I'm with Nick, who invited me here," she just leaves him there with a hammer dangling in his hand. You can hear the "Where did I lose control?" in his voice as she disappears into the kitchen.

I suppose teenagers in the early 50's might have been inspired by this flick to think outside the box when planning a date. I hope it didn't give them the idea to stumble around like someone only dimly aware of his surroundings, constantly at the mercy of others.

I've only ever seen the MST3k version and it's wonderful, but I think even standing alone, "What To Do On a Date" has entertainment value that far outstrips its intended purpose.

After shocking the world with the ground-breaking "Appreciating our Parents", director Ted Peshak returned with his most controversial work, "What to do on a Date". This film stunned audiences with it's brazen sexuality and the use of the word "Weenie". Impotent man-child Nick ignores social mores and takes nebbishy girl-toy Kate on a white-hot date organizing the local rummage sale. Dusty lamps, Cokes, and streamers lead to hot, hot lovin'.

Peshak was ostrasized from the directing community for this brave, electrifying work which dared to combine fantasy and reality and pubescent yearning. He tried to curry the public's favor with more pedestrian efforts like "Improve your Personality" and "Good Table Manners", but nothing doing. "What to do on a Date" branded him a nonconformist, and Peshak died, alone and penniless, in a Hollywood dumpster (reviewer's speculation).