The Nostril Picker

Gross and outrageous movie about a loner who is taught how to turn himself into a girl, by doing this he gets closer to the girls in the local school and gradually kills them one by one. There is the plot, pure and simple, acting is of a fairly low standard and the sound quality is variable, but it never seems to take itself seriously and therefore its a laugh, if not intentional.

Watch if you like low budget rubbish rather than the high budget rubbish pedalled by Hollywood as entertainment for the masses.

The Nostril Picker is a crap film, whether you're a lover of trash movies or not. Yet I still feel it has enough good moments to redeem itself. The idea is unique - I've never heard of another film where a man can make himself look like a girl in order to befriend young girls. As silly as the plot is, at least its a bit different. This film could have been so much better if they had of added more gore and used better actors, as the killer is really quite pathetic. The best scene is when the male hooker goes to the police station to report that he was attacked by the nostril picker. "I demand satisfaction, now!" he says. It's hilarious watching him try to explain to the police officer that he was chased by a man holding a dildo. The gore isn't much to wet yourself over, at least not on the Vipco DVD version I watched. A girl gets her fingers chopped off (a poor mans version of the fingers scene in The Burning), the hooker gets his throat slit, and another girl is stabbed to death but all we see is blood splattering over a wire fence. The ending is quite good and actually original, which gets extra marks from me.

Overall, The Nostril Picker is quite boring at times but depending on your opinion, has a lot of good elements like the ones I've described. If you're a slasher fan I would give this a watch at least once, after all, a title like "The Nostril Picker" will have all your friends dying to know what the film is about.

Let me tell you this. This is THE video nasty you need to get. The acting is the worst I have ever seen! I saw kids in the remedial class at school put together better films than this in GSE! The special effects genuinely give you that real image.... - of someone, at the side of the set, throwing ketchup across the place!! It is the worst made 'horror' movie I have ever seen, but then don't all real movie buffs get off watching Plan 9 from outer Space, and Glen or Glenda? Edward D Wood jnr had his failures, all of which ended up as cult classics in the 21st century, and if you are into this kind of rubbish, The Nostril Picker is now on general release in the UK, in the 'His Masters Voice' stores, in the 'under a fiver' budget range. The basic storyline is that a layabout weirdo offers his stash to a local hobo living in a box behind a bus shelter, in exchange for the hobo's secret knowledge regarding a voodoo chant he heard in an underpass some time, that once recited, turns a man into a female of his choice. Whether he picks his nostril or not during the chant is unimportant. He can then go on using his female 'cloak' and murder whoever he wants without the authorities discovering him - unless he is photographed. If he is, his real identity will be discovered. Oh, and if he recites the chant too many times, he will go crazy. Sounds crazy? It is! Beyond belief. It is truly so poorly made, you can not watch it without the edges of your mouth curling upward. I have never seen the end of this film, but I have put it on so many times, I have lost count. You won't get to the end because you will fall asleep - laughing. And, you will have a DVD title, no-one else you know has! The Nostril Picker is truly a triumph amongst bad taste films. Did I mention that the sound is so poor you will swear you saw the kid recording it on set with his tape recorder? Or that the end credits have the usual - Gaffer, Best Boy, Make Up, AND - Weak Story Development.? Get this film. Most serious film-ers love to hate it - or hate to love it. I love it and it is the pride of my DVD collection!!!

When I ordered the Nostril Picker on DVD, I didn't know what to expect. The cover is rather misleading as the apparent artistic humour does not pertain to the nature of the film. One would think that The Nostril Picker would be a guy who picks his nose throughout the film or that he may incorporate nostril picking in his murders...this is not the case - he only picks it 3 times in the whole movie, but that's not why I bought it. It is the story of a man who is lonely and cannot get any women. He meets a hobo outside a bus-stop and he is given a chant to turn him into a woman whenever he chooses. 'This is perfect', thinks Ugly Joe, The Nostril Picker, 'for killing those women who constantly reject me'. He befriends all the girls who ever laughed at him and mocked him and they see him as a young girl - the camera still shows Ugly Joe! But Ugly Joe is not just happy with a false friendship, he wants their blood! He proceeds to systematically kill each and every girl from a particular group. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the film and I couldn't take how scary it was in parts. I would recommend this film to any serious horror fan as it belongs on your DVD shelf along with Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist, The Wicker Man and The Shining.

"He chose his weapons.. He selected his victims.. He picked his nose.. He changed into a girl.. All in one absolutely disgusting movie!!!" Vipco were a rather notorious British video distributor, specialising in horror and exploitation movies, and the previous sentence is the plot synopsis on the back of their DVD release. I did watch this back in the day on VHS but too long ago to remember anything about it, last night I watched it for a second time, only this time on DVD. I was stone cold sober at the time, I think that this is one of those movies that is perhaps best watched whilst under the influence of beer or some other form of alcoholic beverage. Joe is a very grubby man who lives in a very grubby apartment. He gains an ability to change his appearance completely through incantation, he uses this to rape, kill and cannibalise teenage girls. Overall the acting is bad but Carl Zschering does give a good performance as Joe. Much of the movie is played for comedy but ultimately this is a surreal and inventive slasher film that does feature some strong gore, though the special effects are very cheap looking. The twist at the end is obvious though effectively nasty. Aka "The Changer", this is a bad and cheap movie but it is also fun to some extent and recommended for those who enjoy such exploitation trash.