Wild On...

What was once the most enchanting hour in the history of television has degenerated into sixty minutes of putrid trash. The Wild On's of old, (how I rue their passing,) featured the incomparable Jules Asner, as winsome as she is beautiful, and of course her beauty has no rival, so that tells you just how gosh darned winsome she is! Charming as all heck I tell you and with more sweetness than a sugar factory. Why who could help but be enthralled and captivated as Jules cavorted around the globe, flashing her smile across the seven seas, winning new hearts the world over. By Jiminy, truly television, and dare I say mankind, had reached its apex in that blessed hour, that sacred show, that Wild On.

Sadly the sublime spectacle that was a globe trotting Jules has been subverted by the sinister sideshow that is the Brooke Burke experience-and what a dreadful experience it is! Does this woman own one outfit that is not two sizes too small? Her tailor should be brought up on charges, but not before the cretinous producers who decided to have that crass no talent follow the hallowed footsteps of America's perennial sweetheart, the lovely Jules Asner.

How I long to see Brooke embark on a Wild On to some remote isle where television cameras are banned, and thus spare this nation the tawdry display that has sullied the name of a show that was once synonymous with class and quality. At the very least she should just stop being so annoying.

In summation, Jules good, Brooke bad, all hail the television!

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