Unseen Evil 2

Avoid this movie at all costs. It is so bad that there should be a warning on the label.

It looks like they tried to cash in on the "Alien" franchise. The monster on the cover looks a bit like Ridley Scott's 'Alien'. This is where any similarity ends.

The dialog is laughable. The special effects are so poorly done that I couldn't believe it. In one part, one soldier gets his head chopped in half. It looked so fake that I had to play it in slow motion. The dummy head: 1.) looked like a uneven melon with a face drawn on (which I suspect it was); and 2.) didn't even have the same hair colour as the actor! I know that these movies are strapped for cash, but come on. They did try to do some CGI with the Alien but it you pay attention you can see that they use the same footage a few times throughout the movie(like when the alien gets shot) and it is almost sad to watch.

The editing was so bad that it was actually difficult to understand what was happening. And the 'Special Feature' was almost impossible to watch because you couldn't even understand what the alien was saying most of the time.

I really don't expect very much from these B movies (I watch enough of them). Usually I get a kick out of these types of movies; as most of them try to entertain. But Alien 3000 really was unwatchable and unenlightening. Save your money.

At first the Alien, although it looks stupid, at least it looks dramatic. But then later you can see its just a stupid costume. This film, and I never thought I would be saying this about any film, is as bad as Alien Apocalypse. At least its got the odd hot bad chick in it. All this film is about is waiting to see when the monster will strike, and when it will not, that's all. The gold is really cheesily placed too. Some really bad acting as well, and some really bad models for the helicopter and building that explodes ridiculously. Really stupid props, really stupid soldiers, color of jeep, and color of camping tent, everything is bad. If you gonna watch it anyway, look out for that scene when the alien jumps at the helicopter.

Before I begin my review of this film, I'd like to point out some interesting tidbits about the film. Firstly, the cool monster shown on the box art is from the film "Breeders". Secondly, this creature doesn't even appear in film. Third, according to IMDb this film is a sequel to "Unseen Evil", which I have not seen (though based on what I saw here I'm not sure I want to anyways), but I rented this under the title "Alien 3000", a title which has no relevance to the film.

Anyways, this masterpiece has a bunch of foul-mouthed and stupid "soldiers" from the "Paranormal government research agency" (good to see our tax dollars hard at work) going into a remote mountain range to look for missing soldiers. What they find instead is a blood-thirsty creature capable of turning invisible (I didn't sense any "Predator" vibes while watching this one, no sir!), which begins killing them off one by one. If you're looking for a B movie with cringe-inducing dialog, horrid production values and deliciously awful special effects, you've rented—or, Lord have mercy on you're soul, bought—the right movie. Everything about the film is cheap and laughable. The special effects, as one would imagine, are the funniest aspect of this film. The alien creature is brought to life by a combination of hideously bad CGI and a slightly less awful man-in-a-suit, either way it looks stupid and cheesy. The miniatures are among the worst in motion picture history. The toy helicopter, the remote controlled Ford F-150 pick-up (substituting for a Jeep pick-up in non-effects scenes--I love how the makers even left in real-sized shrubbery just to make it look worse), and the explosion of the "Paranormal research" headquarters were all so pitiful that I was laughing until tears blurred my vision. The gore effects were unimpressive but abundant, and as another viewer mentioned, the splitting-in-two of a character's head was especially bad.

I'll give the film credit where credit is due—the lead actress, Megan Molloy, Was very good, and deserves better roles than this. Everything else is bad--but entertainingly so. Highly recommended for fans of crappy movies.

1/10.

After opening with some mandatory female toplessness, UNSEEN EVIL 2 begins.

Three nameless characters (aka: monster fodder) are investigating a cave, when they immediately discover a massive treasure. This isn't difficult, since it's sitting right out in the open. Obviously, there are monsters about, and the anonymous trio is quickly reduced to red, icky goo.

Next, a group of belligerent paramilitary types, with a collective IQ of about 8, are sent to investigate the cave. Haphazard plotting and unforgivable non-action ensue. The dialogue appears to have been written on the fly, by semi-sentient mildew, and certainly, the roles could have been played with equal believability, by a team of home-cleaning robots.

The only thing worse than the humans in this movie is the "monster" itself. This is due to the "special" effects, that can only be described, in technical terms, as digital dung. The shameful CGI is far inferior to that used in first generation DOOM computer animation. Making matters even worse, the "practical" effects amount to a giant, rubber homunculus that blubbers around while killing Priscilla Barnes! This is followed by the blatant burning of a toy building, standing in for some actual structure.

This sewer raft co-stars Phoebe Dollar, who always seems to gravitate toward these wretched roles. Sometimes she's good. Here, well...

WHHOOOOAAAAAH! YAY! Anyone with a decent sense of humor and all bad movie-lovers in general: SEE THIS MOVIE! It's UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE and ranks way up there in the 'so-bad-it-is-hilarious' top whatever list! It fits the description ALIEN/PREDATOR Z-grade rip-off. And it also makes no sense whatsoever: In the first half of the movie we see different sorts of extremely bad transparent CGI creatures in a cave, ripping people apart. In the second half, the movie simply ignores them, and we see a dude in a very bad rubber monster-suit (at least 5 times worse than the monster in DNA) with Predator-like invisibility abilities running around shredding people.

Totally bad acting in this one, of course. Lorenzo Lamas is listed as the star-power of this movie, but he only has a cameo. It looks like he's on a booze burn-out and gets killed off before he even had any clue what he was doing in this movie. And the effects are simply amazingly bad... and there are a lot of them. I was laughing out loud the whole way through the movie. One highlight in the effects department (and as a scene in general) was definitely when the alien/predator (CGI) jumps up from the ground, high in the air and glues himself to the window of a helicopter. Lorenzo and his buddy freak out over this and just jump out of the helicopter (still waaaay up in the air). The next shot has them rolling over the ground (like if they just jumped off a table) without even a scratch and then we see a miniature helicopter (still in the air) blow up, its tail out of the frame, like if someone was holding it to make it look like it was still flying. Man, man, man... I could go on and on... but just go and rent it. It really is worth your money, if you know what I mean. And luckily, it doesn't skimp on the gore too. Oh, and just in order to warn you again about the fact that you're being ripped-off so bad that it hurts: The cool monster on the ALIEN 3000 (its AKA-title) cover-art (it looks like a cross between H.R. Giger's Alien-design and Pumpkinhead), isn't even in the movie. I don't know where the hell the advertisers got that picture from, but it sure looks like a million dollars compared to what you get to see in the movie. And also make sure to see the totally moronic interview in the extra features with the foreign (as in: Not-American) guy who played the alien. He even has his mask on during the interview. Boy, oh, boy, some movies.... Did I mention this movie opens with a shot of naked boobies?

UNSEEN EVIL 2 apparently is a sequel (Du-uh?) to a movie starring Tim Thomerson. They feature a 2-second long shot of Mr. Thomerson in this sequel that doesn't really fit or match with anything else in UNSEEN EVIL 2. I guess the producers decided to insert Tim to enhance the "cool-factor" of UNSEEN EVIL 2. Now it would be far too easy to give this movie a 1/10 star rating. So I'll throw an extra point in the mix. Or maybe not, hèhèh. This movie needs to be seen. Go watch it. I myself need to hunt down the first one, although I have a feeling that things just can't get any better than... UNSEEN EVIL 2 aka ALIEN 3000.