Shed

Not sure who wrote the previous review or what part s/he played in the movie, but there's really not a redeeming quality to this picture. Yeah, there's a bit of fake blood and a flash or two of skin, but the script and the acting are terrible. The director - who also wrote, "shot," and edited the movie (surprise, surprise) - couldn't give directions to the nearest stop sign, much less assist his actors to deliver believable dialogue. There is probably a 5-minute story in this 82-minute mess about an unconvincing throuple, some skin-stealers, a Halloween party & an old folktale. But the devil, as they say, is in the details. And the details - like well-crafted dialogue, intelligent casting, creative character choices, and coherent plot progression - are where this project goes to Hell. Apparently, the filmmaker realized this and added a disclaimer in the end credits, revealing the movie was made during a hurricane on a $25K budget. Sadly, most of that loot must've blown away because it never seems to have made it to the screen.

I tried with this one, actually tried, but there is not even one redeeming quality about the movie. The typical things a horror movie gets a pass for, were subpar at best (gore and nudity). The lighting was so bad, that even with the brightness on my phone turned all the way up, I couldn't see a majority of the movie (I do have a nice tan from it though). The music was garbage... not the hip 90's band, but literal garbage. The story made no sense, with absolutely no character development. Who were any of these people? Don't answer that, because I honestly don't care. The "actors" (I use that term extremely loosely) have no acting talent... whatsoever. Normally, I'm just pissed off after getting duped into watching these types of misleading dumpster movies (happens more often than not), but I honestly feel really bad after this one. This was someone's masterpiece, that they put their heart and soul into, but came out exactly like a flaming bag of poo left on an old grumpy man's porch.

The things you'll suffer through when on stay at home quarantine.

Almost every aspect of Shed is bad. Not so-bad-it's-good, D-quality campfest, bad. Capital B, Bad. So Bad. Story, direction, dialog, acting... (what acting?) Somehow each element usurps another in it's poorness.

The only reasons I'm giving 3 stars instead of 1 are:

+1 for the technical merits of the film: cinematography, editing, sound design, musical choices. Whether intentional or (almost certainly) unintentional, these elements have a quality that does elicit a no-budget horror experience designed to be fun. It's too bad the awfulness of everything else ruins anything enjoyable.

As someone who has aspired to write, direct, create films for as long as I can remember, this next star is mostly for personal reasons and may be misguided, but I digress.

+1 for just getting it made. It's pretty clear that the actors are friends/family/acquaintances/etc of the crew. For that matter, everyone behind the scenes were there for the same reasons: to help the director make his film. Getting all of these people together and on track is a challenge, when no one is getting remuneration. If I'm wrong and this was a cast production/paid gig, then... at least everyone got credits.

If you're like me and can stomach awful, film-school, community theater, high school drama class writing and acting quality, throw away 80 plus minutes of your life. At least you'll have something to talk when your group of cinephiles start discussing garbage movies they've recently seen.

Do not pay a dime to watch this crap. It's free on Tubi if you're curious and if you can get through it. A junior high AV club would've done a better job.

Great flick. Solid premise. Well executed. Great camp horror humor. Yeah it's a little hokey in parts but that's all part of the charm. It has all three elements of a great horror flick. It's Sexy, Scary and Surprising.