As a gay 66 year old man, I am clearly not part of the intended audience for this film, however, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The film is filled with handsome teenage males, and many homely ugly- Betty goonily-dressed females, including the lead Bella. The boys either strut around looking pretty, with blank expressions, like runway models, or they act like silly hyper active grade 4 school boys. The boys are so inept in their attempts to impress the girls. Bella rudely dismisses them all with a look that says, "You have got to be kidding. You thought I would have anything to do with you?"
Bella is cranky, rude, not very bright, without interests, hobbies or talents. However, she is new to the school, which gives her some appeal.
Edward, is considered the ultimate dreamboat by all the girls, but he allegedly considers himself too good for any of them. I thought the explanation was that he gay, but it turned it out was because he was a vampire.
All the ugly girls get cute boyfriends in the end, but that fantasy- fulfilment story is very much in the background.
To my great surprise the plot of the first half of the film unfolds with the ponderousness of a Jane Austen novel. I never expected that from a teen movie. There is great push pull between Edward and Bella. Edward is trying to control his urges to kill Bella and drink her blood. Bella blithely ignores what he is telling her. The reticence builds an incredible tension. It is similar to the sort of tension people in an earlier day felt trying to avoid sex before marriage or gay sex.
What makes no sense is why Edward is attracted to Bella but not the other girls. I decided to pretend it had to do with scent or some vampire-only discernible attribute. The real reason has to do with fantasy fulfilment.
Robert Pattinson does a brilliant job of portraying Edward the vampire. His approach is similar to Stephen Moyer playing the courtly vampire Bill Compton in True Blood. He is calm, patient, breathy, intense, old- fashioned. He is handsome, but in an almost non-human sort of way.
At one point he says roughly, "I am the most dangerous predator on the planet. Even my face, by voice and my scent are designed to lure victims." You look at him, and imagine his exotic scent, he is speaking literal truth. It is like an electric shock. Photographs of him are not sufficient to show what I am talking about.
Like the Superman I movie, Edward gradually reveals his powers to Bella. Unlike Lois Lane, Bella is completely unimpressed.
The movie shifts gears to comedy, when Edward takes Bella home to meet the "family".
Then the movie shifts gears again, stealing the special effects from Superman II, where the titans battle.
Bella always chooses the most dangerous possible thing to do at each stage. It obviously helps the plot, but it made me want to smack her for being so stupid.
Bella within almost minutes of meeting Edward decided she wants marry him. Then a week or so later she decides even marriage is not sufficient commitment. The want him to commit for eternity of life as a vampire. The belief that there was only one true love for me caused me untold misery. I might even go so far as to say it ruined my life. I hate seeing that poison being sold to unsuspecting young girls.
