Dial M for Middlesbrough

There are some good actors here, but they don't stand a chance in this under-rehearsed moronic drivel. The whole thing is desperately unfunny. There is far too much quick cutting, which means the director fails to capitalise on his one plus point; the performances.

Highly amateurish, Dial M for Middlesbrough is a abject failure.

I really like Johnny Vegas (Ideal) and Sian Gibson (Car Share) and did actually like their previous two outings as a crime solving duo. This one really left me feeling underrated though. I think if I were to read the script on paper, I would have found some of the dialogue and scenarios pretty funny and no doubt I'm sure the cast had a laugh whilst filming it. But something about the way it was ultimately transcribed to screen has somehow really sucked the humour out of it. This is strange since it was directed by Ed Bye who has done some fantastic stuff with Red Dwarf.

My general gripe is the way the dialogue just seems to be a cascade of gags which fail to hit the mark more often than not, but do very much succeed in clawing you out of any moment you feel like you might actually be engaging with the plot. You end up with a general apathy from being forced to find the comedic side in every situation, even a grizzly murderous rampage. Gemma's character came across as more of a two-dimensional annoyance to Terry's constant miffed persona more than anything else. I found myself willing for her to be the next victim quite often, just for some peace from her relentless inane commentary and overacting.

The scenes between her and Terry stretch the absurd to further inject more relentless comedy, but unfortunately this sacrifices the chemistry they used to have on screen and makes their pairing seem even more unrealistic. You end up yearning for a bit of real non-shock value dialogue to ground the story line and it just isn't there.

Instead you just get character after character, pushing every line they've been given to the extreme as if somehow trying to showcase their resume. The story struggles to move on in a cohesive manner when you just have a collection of acting cameos that are nothing but escalating performances of nonsense jigsawed together. This might have been better reserved for Panto as it certainly doesn't work for me as a TV Viewer.

After the feeble Death on the Tyne. Draper's tour operators Terry (Johnny Vegas) and Gemma (Sian Gibson) return in another disappointing and overlong instalment.

On the way to Middlesborough, the coach breaks down at a dismal down in the dumps caravan park, a place where Gemma once had a holiday of a lifetime.

Pretty soon they stumble across people getting murdered in some sadistic ways.

The site owner is hoping that the land is designated as a nesting site for some rare birds which means he does not have to sell it to H from Steps.

Jason Donovan plays a sleazy entertainments manager who once had a thing for Gemma.

It is a combination of comedy and gruesome deaths. One person gets spiked by a swingball, Terry finds a finger in some soup he had and there is even a hit man wandering about.

The best joke was Terry wanting to have a classy wedding with Gemma and lay on a gravy fountain with vegetables. It was the only decent gag in the whole thing.

Funny enough to pass 90 minutes without taxing your brain. Not as funny as the Death on the Tyne episode.

Yes the plot and outcome are OK. The journey there is sadly so bland and innocuous, I found myself doing that modern thing of making a distraction by browsing about on my phone, using this "comedy-drama" as background noise. It was laboured and lacking any really rich dialogue. Heavy use of backing music and eternal editing. Ed Bye, still a great director, must consider this a low career point, as I'm sure a lot of the acting talent felt too. Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson anchor it OK but they visually struggle to keep this entertaining. I've seen the offerings in this occasional series ( Draper Tours) of whodunnits from writer Jason Cook, who must have signed a lucrative deal to really get these passed for broadcasting. The highlight was Jason Donovan who (ironically for me) was the stand out of all the characters. Annette Crosbie can do no wrong too. The real mistake is that it feels it's made as a theatre farce. Over acted and loud with pregnant pauses as if waiting for the audience to laugh or applaud. Unfortunately, not many of us did.