Crank: Alto voltaje

This movie is not for the faint of heart.

If you've watched the first Crank and enjoyed it, you will absolutely love this one. It pushes the boundaries the first one set to the absolute maximum. There are no lines this film does not cross, from outrageous public sex scenes to gore that almost rivals the Saw franchise. It will keep your heart pounding for the entire film's duration. It's one of the most hilarious, stylish and down-right insane films I have ever watched.

If you haven't watched the first Crank, I recommend watching it before you even think of watching this film. It'll give you some good background story and also prepare you for what you are about to see.

If you saw the first Crank and didn't like it... do not watch this movie. Multiply Crank by 1000 volts and you get this incredible sequel.

The Crank franchise is an acquired taste, and this stretches it even for fans.

Crank 2: High Voltage practically begs to be passionately loathed by absolutely everyone, with the notable exception of antisocial teenage boys. Its rank, nihilistic tone is relentless and exhausting. The misogyny is benchmark horrendous. The acts of violence are brutal, frequent and often blatantly homoerotic. Its flippant. Its homophobic. Its vulgar. And it feels as much seething contempt for its own narrative coherence as it does for its few prominent female characters.

But there is something bracingly brilliant about it. Films this fearlessly unhinged simply do not get made any more, and thirty years ago this would've played, late at night, to packed houses for years on end, perhaps aptly bundled with the likes of John Water's Pink Flamingoes.

One fact that was suggested by the first Crank is set heroically in stone barely five minutes into its sequel - that directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor appear to be completely obsessed with pornography. There is a truly jaw-dropping amount of flesh on constant display, and the film's only female speaking parts belong to a prostitute and a stripper. This lends the film an air of uncomfortable, almost lavatorial sleaziness, until a bunch of actual porn stars turn up in the middle of a scene, starring as a bunch of disgruntled porn stars striking for better pay. Although it hardly passes as satire, it does seem like a sly dig in the direction of the producers that populate the Hollywood mainstream, who'd surely relish the opportunity to make films like this if only the bastard machine would let them. Balls-out exploitation it may be, but if any film lives up to cinema's ancient adage of providing its audience with relentless sex and violence, its this one.

The second half of the film is where it really flies, and chooses to disregard not only its own plot, but any care for the patience or expectations of its audience. It goes, essentially, mad. And for something that was clearly deranged in the first place, it'd be foolish for me not to offer up the only advice that will enable you to see exactly what I mean.

Go and see it.

After surviving a fall from a helicopter, Chev Chelios is kidnapped directly from the spot he landed in and is taken to a place where they remove his heart. He is given an artificial one that requires an electrical charge to keep running, every hour or so. Now Chelios is on the run trying to find his old heart and to keep charged.

I had an appreciation for the first Crank, it was a live action Grand Theft Auto. Creating as much chaos as possible within the running time. It ended perfectly, with his death. Crank 2 comes around and ruins that. At least, for my own sanity, right from the beginning they have a telecaster look directly to the viewer and tell them how implausible all of this is. Could this be the writers and directors telling the audience that this was a studio decision?

Crank 2 doesn't hold any punches, it goes all out and doesn't stop. It somehow finds a way to be even more chaotic than the original, but it sacrifices any kind of logical straight forward story. The first, even though it was far fetched, seemed like it might possibly happen. Crank 2 doesn't seem to be based in any kind of reality. I do still like the city and world these characters live in. It's just like a video game/comic book come to life.

Statham once again shows us why he is the new face of the action genre. The Rock has moved on to Disney family films and Statham continues to be in films that he knows his fans will love. Crank 2 is violent and obscene. Just like it wants to be, Chelios is a despicable character, just like he wants to be. Statham plays the role with a bit of charm that makes him likable. Amy smart is here again, but she seems even more useless now than before. Was her purpose in this one just to re-enact the famous sex in public scene from original?

The Crank films are without a doubt a guys film. Crank 2 even more so. Sex, violence, harsh language and insane sequences like a shotgun shoved up a guy's ass or two characters transforming into Godzilla like creatures, it's something that requires a viewer to leave their brain not only at the door, but at the door of another house. The comedy is unique and in your face, it doesn't hold back with any subject matter. It's degrading to women and homosexuals and maybe even intellectuals. If you liked the first Crank, you'll like this one.

For what it is worth, I dug the craziness of the film. The style it was shot in was fast and dirty, that reflects the story and the characters in it. I can see a third film coming out, just wondering what they plan on doing with it makes my head hurt though.

Let me start off by defending my rating of this title. Really it's hard for me to rate a movie like this, it is directed right at me and my type of people. I can't help it that I like a movie like this, it's just the way it is.

Really this movie is a grind house movie in an era where grind house movies don't exist. It has everything that is unacceptable as entertainment in other movies...and yet you can't stop watching. It's for the most part, balls to the walls, insanity. It doesn't make sense. The reason I don't' mind...is that it's not trying to. It knows it's stupid and crazy. And it loves it. It's not trying to impress you. This is a movie that really took control of itself. Typically you'll have a movie with an a-b formula...this is a a-z formula with complete insanity and randomness filling in the interval. You know where the movie is going as soon as you start watching it, it's the ride that excites and keeps you watching.

In short, this movie has violence, action, nudity, homosexuality, disabilities, public indecency and racism. And I have to admit, I liked it.

The one problem I had with this movie is it started so crazy and hilarious that it kind of peaked in the middle. It was just so much that the rest didn't surprise you anymore. I still found it very enjoyable though, and would definitely add it to my collection.

Also I know this review sucks, but this movie is hard to give a serious review to. If you like movies that play out like a GTA video game mixed with a violent Japanese film...then watch it. Just have fun with it.

Quite possibly the silliest movie ever made. I'm pretty sure these guys set out to make the ultimate mindless action flick and they succeeded brilliantly IMO. I've never seen anything like it before. IMDb claims the budget was $20M, although that seems like quite a stretch. But there is about $1B worth of craziness in it. The makers didn't hold anything back - no restraint whatsoever and it's amazing. Anyone looking to be offended will be. Guaranteed. I've heard of people walking out of movies but this is the first time I ever saw it happen. I wonder if they asked for their $$$ back. I'm pretty sure the theaters are covered from giving refunds; there's fine print on the tix or something.

Anyway, the opening credits are in video game form, which I now realize was a signal. Viewers need to forget reality, not just suspend disbelief in that routine movie kind of way. These guys throw everything they can think of up on the screen and I kept wondering what drugs they were using during filming. Maybe all of them. Also, there's something to irritate everybody. I really mean that; I don't think any insult or stereotype or slur was left out. Nothing offensive was held back that I could notice, although I've led a sheltered life.

Now here's the switch: it's hilarious and I mean laugh-out-loud funny from start to finish. I saw scenes I never saw before or ever expected to see. It starts out so unbelievably crazy that it's actually shocking (sorry) and then just keeps it up and keeps it going for the entire flick. Dark Chocolate's elaborate eye-roll sequence is one for the ages and is worth the price of admission all by itself.

Here's how funny it is: SpikeTV showed it and of course had to make countless cuts: not just the copious female nudity but the language and graphic violence and so on. Anyway, with all that gone it was still incredibly funny and astounding and just totally insane. The ending was a set-up for a sequel, same way the first "Crank" was, but I honestly don't see how they can top this one. Maybe I'm wrong; I sure hope so but it seems to me that they deliberately made it as wild as possible and didn't hold anything back.

One last word: it's not for everyone. I promise you'll either absolutely love it or thoroughly despise it. There will be no in-between for this one.