Hatuna Hafucha

The Israeli movie Hatuna Hafucha (2020) was shown in the U. S. with the title Marry Me However. Mordechai Vardi was the writer, producer, and director.

Observant gay Jews in Israel face an impossible dilemma. There is tremendous social pressure on them to marry and produce children. However, because they are gay, marriage to a woman is not really a workable option.

Nonetheless, many gay men do, indeed marry. That leaves them unsatisfied and leaves their wives in a terrible, poignant situation.

The movie doesn't provide a solution. It just sympathetically outlines this problem, which at the moment can't be solved. None of us can say whether Orthodox Judaism will accept this problem, and attempt to solve it. Right now there is no place to turn.

We saw this movie virtually under the auspices of the outstanding Rochester Jewish Film Festival. The film has an IMDb rating of 8.1, but with just a handful of raters. I thought it was even better than that, and rated it 9.

I have just finished watching the movie: Marry Me However. It is about specific religious couples that have after being married discovered that one of the partners is in fact gay. It is an Israeli film, and all the subtitles are in fantastic English. Yet, even though the words are clear, the emotional message is not even close to the Hebrew. This movie is unique. It is about RELIGIOUS men and women that have searched and reached into the depths of their human soul which paired with deep pain, guilt and love. They are truly religious -- they want and have a deep connection with God and in many cases are most pained with how to maintain a connection while living their lives. The movie is emotionally charged. We see men and women who are intelligent, professional, intellectual, learned in secular and religious studies. We see Rabbis and Mentors acknowledging that we have been able as a society to improve in our acceptance and understanding of human spirit in the last thirty years. And then we also see reality: Families that are still in denial or not accepting. Men and Women pressured into getting into a marriage that may appear 'accomplished' yet bears pain and suffering to BOTH spouses. And the movie, FYI, it from religious couples of the Religious Zionist (ie: Modern Orthodox) world -- NOT the ultra orthodox (Charedi or Chassidish or Litvish) worlds. They are still years behind in basic mental and physical health and welfare. So, my insights: 1. Try and watch and support this film. It is best watched with another person. 2. Make one change to your life: Open your heart a drop more -- to see pain and suffering around you. Acceptance with love anyone. And without judgment.