Amityville Scarecrow

I like low budget movies, they bring out creativity, usually. This film has some cool aspects. Location, night time lighting, camera work all good. However, the writing is horribile to the point it derails the film. A nonsence storyline, who is who, what the hell are they doing in England and so on.

Ok. 2 sisters inherit some land in England that once was summer camp. Oh, the Amityville house ( once on this property ) burned down and now the land is cursed? OMG! The sisters are from the US, their daughters have accents, a female cop who shows up has no accent, serious?

The writing is horribile, the Director bad, the sound mixing done by someone not sober possibily. The acting gets a free pass since the script was void of common sence.

I guess movies like this seep out as no one will speak up and offer constructive criticism.

How could someone preview this and think it makes sence?

Remember that girl in highschool who thought she could sing? She sucked but no one would stop her from embarrasing herself. Yup thats what you have here.

The amount of time it took me to think of that title pun is the same time it took the filmmakers to work on this movie.

An estranged family inherits their dead mothers campground (the land was a cornfield that never could grow corn *spoooooky*

One sister slept with the others husband long ago and now they hate each other. Much to one's dismay, they decide to try and fix the camp up and make a go of it. Unfortunately there happens to be two murderous scarecrows on the grounds.

Typical of most of today's low budget horror from the UK, Amityville Scarecrow looks nice. Lighting and cinematography are competent. The actors are mostly decent, with the only exception being the sister Mary - her shrill voice and angry attitude make you want the scarecrow to off her asap. Music and sound design are also pretty poor, I would be surprised if the music wasn't all free stock tracks, and the audio in several scenes has an extremely loud sound floor of wind, likely to mask that the audio was recorded with that same noise I would guess.

How about what we are here for: the horror content? The scarecrow costume is basically a higher end Halloween costume, but it looks decent. The kills however are uniformly awful. Most kills are offscreen and we get a body with a dribble of blood from its mouth.

If they had spent some money on even rudimentary special effects and provided some gore, Amityville Scarecrow could have been a passable slasher flick, instead, we get another in the ever growing long list of terrible Amityville flops.

Oh, and how does this relate to Amityville you ask? Well it seems that the High Hopes house was located on the land and torn down to build this campground. How Long Island has mysteriously transported to the English countryside is not mentioned.

Now, the word "Amityville" has been a synonym for a low budget, dubious produced movie of questionable entertainment value, yet I keep returning here to watch, hoping for this particular one time is that one time where an "Amityville" movie is a good "Amityville" movie.

And thus, I opted to sit down and watch the 2021 movie "Amityville Scarecrow" from writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy. I have to be bluntly honest and say that I harbored zero expectations really for this movie, so writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy had every chance to impress, bedazzle, and most importantly, entertain me.

However they failed to do that. "Amityville Scarecrow" was a slow paced movie driven by an almost non-existing narrative. So it was insanely difficult to find anything worthwhile or enjoyable here as the movie trotted on at a pace that would put a snail to shame.

The acting performances in the movie were fairly wooden and not overly convincing. It felt staged and amateurish at best. There were some familiar faces on the cast list though with Kate Sandison and Nicola Wright, but that is only because I watch way too many low budget B-movies.

For a horror movie then "Amityville Scarecrow" was a swing and a miss. There was nothing scary here at all, unless you consider the insanely slow pacing of the narrative as being scary. So if you enjoy horror movies, you will not be in for a particular treat here, should you opt to watch "Amityville Scarecrow", which I don't recommend you do - some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to.

Visually then "Amityville Scarecrow" was not impressive either.

My rating of "Amityville Scarecrow" lands on a two out of ten stars.

What can I say?

Geography may not be my best subject, but I thought Long Island was in the states, not across the pond.

The cover art was nice. The acting was meh.

I have seen better, scarier movies on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon.

This was a bad, glorified Lifetime Network movie with all the back and forth drama between the characters. And this is not a dig on Lifetime, I have seen much better movies on that channel.

The only thing I liked the most about this movie is when the end credits rolled.

Unwatchable.....total garbage. Just another stupid made for TV terrible movie. Acting is the worst possible. I was hoping the scarecrow would end up killing all those whining idiot women. Avoid this trash at all costs. Not even worth a 1 rating.