Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island

Not worth watching.

Barely any crocodiles in it.

I had to FF most of it.

I love Dog Soldiers, I have a fondness of Jaws and a guilty pleasure for the Lake Placid series. I had reasonably low expectations, expecting to see people get mauled to slivers by hungry crocodiles with a lot of banter.

I got a steaming pile of cat waste dumped on my face instead. It's based on actual real events, but gods sake, Tommy Wiseau can act better.

The only explanation is that somebody gave drugs to tweens and made them direct this yeast infected lettuce of a 'film',

The best way to watch this movie is with the sound down while wearing a blind fold.

I am honestly so shocked at how bad this movie was, that I won't even bother explaining it. Story was horrible, acting was horrible, effects were horrible, and the list goes on.

Anyone who gives this movie over a 1 or 2 was either a part of the movie, related to someone in the movie, or paid to rate it highly. Period.

Unfortunately, this wasn't one of them.

This was based on actual events; the unsubstantiated claims that thousands of Japanese soldiers were eaten by crocs on Ramree Island.

For a thriller, suspense, action movie there is relatively little action, hardly any suspense and no thrills at all.

I live for these types of movies; Blackwater (and it's sequel),Primeval, Lake Placid (and it's many sequels), Croc, but this was just a snoozefest. Even Crocodile Dundee was more exciting than this movie.

I can usually find something redeeming in most bad movies. This one, not so much.

Well well well, finally a found of my own, a The Room, a Plan 9 from Outer Space, a movie that is genuinely bad, and not intentionally.

Truly so many moments when you're just: This is not possible, this is just not happening! But Oh No! It is possible, it is happening and even so, it's going and going for more!

Once I realized there is no point in taking this seriously, I really let myself go and just had a laugh. Bloody hell I laughed, I giggled, I genuinely had fun because it is amazing how much Saltwater takes itself seriously, while giving you gems like: people that are in just over the ankles water, get pulled under by crocodiles. Crocodile close ups of clearly baby crocs taken from other footage or perhaps taken in a zoo. Characters that make no sense but are there and genuinely feeling the tension of the situation.

I mean come on, you have to take this as a laugh and just go all the way with it. It was fun and I do recommend it in a small group, perhaps even a drinking game for every time the word "bleeding" is there to replace the f bomb.

Cheers!