Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island

I've seen amdram Christmas pantos with better acting than this sorry affair.

The characters are unbelievable and unlikeable, the pacing is awful, gaping potholes/flaws, overall boring and utterly unenjoyable.

Now I *love* a good low budget horror/creature movie, but this film manages to give off a very "low budget" feel but not in a good way.

I love Dog Soldiers, I have a fondness of Jaws and a guilty pleasure for the Lake Placid series. I had reasonably low expectations, expecting to see people get mauled to slivers by hungry crocodiles with a lot of banter.

I got a steaming pile of cat waste dumped on my face instead. It's based on actual real events, but gods sake, Tommy Wiseau can act better.

The only explanation is that somebody gave drugs to tweens and made them direct this yeast infected lettuce of a 'film',

Terrible movie what we have here is a cut scene type movie, they film in one location and add about 10 minutes of dialog, they they move to another location and add in another 10 minutes of dialog, (and repeat), the dialog is kindof funny at times but really not worth watching for it.

Barely any crocodiles in the movie and just really bad all around.

What really gets me is how they spent 1M (estimated) on this movie????

A gopro and some old war outfits are maybe 2k some new actors maybe 1k each a terrible script $200, pack of chewing gum 25c .....

I can think of 1M other places to spend 1M and this isn't one of them.

Well well well, finally a found of my own, a The Room, a Plan 9 from Outer Space, a movie that is genuinely bad, and not intentionally.

Truly so many moments when you're just: This is not possible, this is just not happening! But Oh No! It is possible, it is happening and even so, it's going and going for more!

Once I realized there is no point in taking this seriously, I really let myself go and just had a laugh. Bloody hell I laughed, I giggled, I genuinely had fun because it is amazing how much Saltwater takes itself seriously, while giving you gems like: people that are in just over the ankles water, get pulled under by crocodiles. Crocodile close ups of clearly baby crocs taken from other footage or perhaps taken in a zoo. Characters that make no sense but are there and genuinely feeling the tension of the situation.

I mean come on, you have to take this as a laugh and just go all the way with it. It was fun and I do recommend it in a small group, perhaps even a drinking game for every time the word "bleeding" is there to replace the f bomb.

Cheers!

When I stumbled upon this 2021 movie "Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" from writer and director Steve Lawson, I must admit that the fact that the cover had a massive crocodile on it and that it stated "based on actual events" made me want to watch it.

But of course I was having that gnawing voice at the back of my head telling me that this will be another bad creature feature. But still, I opted to sit down to watch it.

And as it would turn out, then "Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" was indeed a bad creature feature. In fact, it is a not a movie that I would recommend you waste your time, money or effort on.

The movie takes place during the year of 1945 where we follow a very small British task force trying to make their way to a Japanese installation on some island. But they have to make haste and cross across swamp land to get to their objective. But the swamp is the territory of ferocious crocodiles.

Now, it should be said that the movie didn't really have all that much action with crocodiles in it. It was mostly just the audience following the British soldiers as they sat around bickering or accusing each other for their predicament. So it was essentially more of a boring drama than it was an action movie.

And whether or not this movie is actually based on true events, I know not, nor do I really care after having seen the movie. But if British troops did lead a battalion of Japanese soldiers into crocodile infested swamplands would be a nifty tactical way of thinking outside the box.

The acting in the movie was nothing to write home about. I am sure that the actors were doing their best, but they virtually had nothing solid or noteworthy to work with in terms of script, storyline, dialogue or interesting characters.

"Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" lands a generous two out of ten stars from me.