Scavengers

I think first I have to mention how sad I am to see how low Sean Patrick Flanery has fallen since his inspired performance in "The Boondock Saints", to see him hamming it up as some cartoonish psychotic commander bad guy with a speech impediment that meant that he came over as nothing more menacing than a moron was truly horrifying and painful to watch.

The dialogue in this is stupid at best, certainly annoying and insulting to the intelligence of any who watch this waste of time. At times the dialogue was so ridiculous and forced that it only provokes a jaw drop at the idea that someone pitched this stupid script to a film maker and they actually made the film instead of throwing the script in the bin where it belonged.

The special effects could have been knocked up by any school kid with a computer, the sets were clearly "green screen" sets with poor quality computer modelling and rendering and the hard sets were clearly made by amateur props makers using such items as recognisable wireless computer keyboards glued to a surface and then spray painted to look like a console (They were doing that for such low budget TV programs as "Red Dwarf" which were infinitely more entertaining than this).

WARNING : Cheese Factor - Casu Marzu

Possibly one of the worst movies ever made, seriously, acting is ridiculously bad, manuscript feels like it being made up while filming, Sean Patrick Flanery has an extreeeeeemly annoying way of wrinkle his nose (like a rabbit) throughout the whole movie, possibly trying to look angry, but more looks, yeah like a rabbit. The CGI is made on somebody's iPad I think. Films like this should not be made. I rather watch Dinoshark... Don't waste your time here guys, I actually created an account here on IMDb just to tell you this. It is a waste of time. A whole heap of funding that could have gone for something good. Nothing else....

I'll make it short: This movie is nothing but awful. For my entertainment I would have been happy if this movie had just been a lower average science fiction flick since I have seen lots of movies of this genre and my expectations are rather low, but as a matter of fact this movie was plain boring, cheaply looking and a disappointment in every way. Looking at the visual effects was like a flashback into 1994 when I had fun watching the cut-scenes of "Wing Commander 3" (PC Game)... too bad for the movie it is 2013 already. This movie has a sticker on the box which states "Sci-Fi-Horror in style of Event Horizon" - This movie is another proof for the evidence that stickers like these are ALWAYS a warning notice!

Still not exactly a soap. Not much better than one though. The German title "Space Soldiers" also promises something that sound more like an action movie than it is. But that is not the problem with Scavengers at hand here. The problem is, that while it's cute (and "dark"), it fails to impress on the jokes side. It tries hard to be funny and the actors are probably not as bad as they seem in this movie.

Unfortunately the timing is off and S.P. Flanery might try to outdo Steven Seagal with his performance here (alright it's not that bad. But still worse than anything else I've seen him do and I know he can act). Other than that you shouldn't be too fixed on the production values (because there are none), especially the cheap looking ... everything in it. Still they try their best to hide those things with fog/smoke inside a space ship(?). Yep it's that bad. If you still have a heart of Gold and can't be mad at the somewhat likable characters and some funny ideas (Twelve/Thirteen), you might like this more than you should. Until the end after end comes along ... maybe

Where do we start...

The CGI was poor (bits looked like they were done on a ZX81), and in some sections of the movie the lighting was all wrong - highlighting the fact that the background was superimposed.

The acting was bad, really bad - no one was believable - but I guess a special mention really needs to be made regarding the "script" which was even worse (did someone get paid for this?). Some of the lines were just ridiculous and seemed at times to be trying to be funny (especially the "baddies" - Captain Jekel and sidekick BreathTaker).

The sound effects were, to say the least, interesting: I would never have thought to have machine gun noises for spacecraft fire.

All in all this is a howler and not worth the 90 minutes you will never recover.