When the story begins, we see adult male twins in clothing that looks like it's from the 1920s. They're visited by a guy dressed in a suit that looks like early 1960s. Later a man says his mother died in 2014. In what year is this taking place? Did the twins just get home from auditioning for an am/dram production of "Newsies?" The twins have zero body fat. They also have zero charisma. I assume they were hired simply because they are cute twins. I also assume they're models because they are incredibly wooden when they move or speak, and when they're still, they are so carefully posed. Hands in the pockets? Arms are bent at a perfect 90 degrees. Drinking tea? Posed with the cup for that perfect print ad shot. And the twin with the suspenders looks like he's constantly trying to flex under his shirt. It's distracting. Especially when they talk, because they deliver their dialogue like they're afraid to move their facial muscles at all for fear of creating wrinkles. They're too young to be acting like Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous ("I can't smile like that! I can't afford the wrinkles!") And they can't sing. No one can sing in this alleged musical. Actually the only person with any life or talent is the actress playing the dead woman. What seemed like it would be an interesting experiment, a kind of Agatha-Christie-meets-Gilbert-&-Sullivan production, doesn't work at all. The story is nothing but cumbersome exposition set to music that never develops beyond the first few bars, but becomes a repetitive refrain. And all the bad singing. I had to give up after 40 minutes because life is too short. It's a mystery to me how this got to the production stage because it definitely feels like a workshop piece that needs a lot of work before it's ready. And I mean a LOT of work.
