Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby

For the last 10 years or so, there has been an emergence of films that fall under the "Rob Zombie" brand of movie-making, brazenly dedicating themselves not to story, plot, effective special effects or even shock, but instead focus themselves on a simple depraved formula: blood, pain, gore and torture.

There is really precious little that this film offers besides blood, pain, gore and torture. For the first half of the film, it barely even offers that! The acting is hamfisted at best, the filming is barely above amateur. Something vaguely resembling a plot is inserted at various parts of the film, but is so poorly conceived that it is hard if not impossible to follow. And if I could follow it, it's so idiotic that I wouldn't want to believe that any movie maker would be so simpleminded as to think that this would make a good film.

The makers of "Coffin Baby" make the mistake that ALL of the makers of these types of films make: they fall in love with their villain. He's so scary and evil, faceless and effective, completely psychotic with just a hint of intelligence. The Devil's own precious baby boy. He'll scare people! And so that is what the movie is about, the villain.

The only problem is that this particular sort of villain has been used time and time and time and time and time(x700 million) again. It's not original, and has never made a good movie. If the villain is not interesting, then the movie fails to be interesting. And guess what! This villain is a thirty-and-a-half foot drop below interesting.

I was bored throughout.

Hmmm, where to start and end with this one. I'm not anti horror I enjoy horror but this one apart from being incredibly lame storyline wise seems to be an excuse for the special effects department to offer their splattering s to us the audience in blooded bucketful's. What kind of brain thinks up this sick nonsense? Seriously it really concerns me that this sort of film is even made. Trouble is making comments like this only tends to fuel the fascination, ergo adding appeal to the curious and perhaps not so balanced minded person. However, I did sit through this messy production in all senses of the word. If you like wading through an intestinal and cannibalistic horror movie I guess this will be right up your street. Pity that such a good director was involved in this mess.

Toolbox Murders 2 (2013)

What passes for the film's plot is simple on the page but convoluted and messy on screen where it makes no real sense at all. For the most part the film concentrates on one poor young woman's horrific plight as she is caged in a serial killer's gloomy abode. There are flashbacks and supernatural elements none of which seem to make much sense and just add to confusing what should have been a straight forward exercise in exploitation. Rather than make a pig's ear of trying to explain things I'll hand over to the film's writer and director Dean C Jones who details the plot as below.

Hollywood, California is turned upside down by a series of strange and horrific murders creating chaos and turmoil in tinsel town. One particular victim, Samantha Forester (Chauntal Lewis), is kidnapped, held captive and subjected to witness the torture and murder of numerous other victims. It is by her will, strength, and faith that she must survive the ordeal. Her escape seems hopeless and only worsens when outside supernatural forces become more difficult to contend with than her captor.

This alleges to be a sequel to Tobe Hooper's reasonable 2004 remake of the 1978 cult favourite The Toolbox Murders bringing back that film's killer Coffin Baby for another stab at a franchise. Quite how two-time Academy Award nominee Bruce Dern (as Vance Henrickson) was convinced to star in this muddle will remain a mystery although to be fair, and possibly to Dern's relief, he's barely in it five minutes. The same applies to the film's other recognisable face Brian Krause, starring as Detective Chad Cole, who appears and disappears quickly from proceedings.

Originally shot back in 2011 Toolbox Murders 2 had additional footage added by the director, unbeknownst to the studio, following a poor festival reception and was retitled called Coffin Baby. This was independently released in 2013. Due to legal issues it is only now that the film can be released as Toolbox Murders 2 and here it is. From the Se7en style opening credits (it's like twenty years now since that film opened and people are STILL imitating it, enough already) through to its nonsensical ending Toolbox Murders 2 is more of an ordeal for the viewer than it is for the leading lady. So much about this film irks, rather than entertains, its audience from huge gaps in logic - how come not one cop sees Samantha taken from the police car - to how clean Samantha remains in such a hell-hole given the period of time she is incarcerated.

I was also rather perplexed by how it is not one person has ever spotted where our serial killer lurks and works. It's not like the building he takes his victims to be off the beaten track; in fact it looks rather localised. Perhaps our killer needs to be near the local amenities; after all he does need to pick up a nice bottle of wine and cooking condiments to add to the taste of his victims. It would also explain where he managed to find such a lovely fresh flower to offer to Samantha as the only nice gift he thinks to give her.

Toolbox Murders 2 feels thrown together rather than edited with any sense or meaning. The acting is miserable and the film is ultimately pointless. Gore-hounds will get off on the decently handled make-up effects - a victim sawn in half is a particular highlight - but otherwise this is a resounding dud. You'll get more satisfaction out of watching a clock tick away for an hour and a half than you will from watching this and I rather wish I had.

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I wouldn't watch such sub-par movies, but a friend gave it to me. I mean, there are a lot of aimless serial killers out there. How did you create such an empty space? The movie is really bad. Like a performance theatre. My advice is never watch.

I just came across this flick because it's second title was The Toolbox Murders 2. Do I need to say more? Linking this flick onto the 1978 classic...Sure, he do uses a toolbox but that's the only link so you can guess what I'l going to to write about this little stinker.

The flick never got my attention for the story itself because it's full of plot holes but why I never pushed the eject button was the gore added. If you do like extreme gore then this is a must see because it's rather explicit and gorehounds will love it.

If someone can explain why the story involved the Black Dahlia murders then I will be happy to listen. The "coffin baby" itself is a bit weird too. Towards the story they are trying to give the victim the Stockholm Syndrome but somehow it didn't work because she do wants to escape naturally. She do gets used by all the horror done in the cellar but still...her face never got dirty...

And then there's of course Bruce Dern. It takes over an hour before he comes in doing what he does best, looking scary.

Gorehounds, don't hesitate and go for it but if you like strong stories forget it.

Gore 5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 4/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5