3 Musketeers

When the movie started I thought it might be worth a look. But 10 minutes into it I realized this was a new new level of bad theater.

The premise was hokey and the director was in love with a style of cinematographic where the shot pops to a zoom in. It was constant and annoying.

The moment I know this was the worst movie I seen this year was when they turned on the oven of an electric stove to blow up a house. This was the typical attention to detail the cast and director gave this movie. I saw no less than 6 sequences that were ripped off from other movies. And terribly reproduced as well.

Save your money and the hour and a half of your lives and skip seeing this film, unless you want to see how not to film and action movie.

This movie was somewhat amusing. If you don't expect intelligent dialogs, awesome special effects and top-class actors you can watch this movie. Switch-off your brain and watch.

The story is a typical good and bad thing without surprises. There are some would-be hackers with very unrealistic hacking methods, some would-be fighters, boring fighting scenes and a lot of low-level special effects at which I have to say that I have seen worse effects in other movies.

I really liked the charisma of Alexandra D'Artangan (Heather Hemmens) and Isaac Athos (Xin Sarith Wuku). But most of the actors are completely lacking in acting performance. The bad guy Treville the Cardinal (Alan Rachins) is an inflexible old guy and simply not credible as a bad guy from my opinion.

The camera work is awful. Too much switching (close, distant, close, distant...).

All things considered the involved parties tried hard too make a movie with good effects but unfortunately they didn't managed it.

I have never been so motivated to write a negative film review before. This movie has, as far as I can see, no redeeming features whatsoever.

The plot is mediocre and unoriginal. The script is clichéd, unrealistic and uninspiring. It seems to be a low budget movie, but has a story with action sequences that need far better special effects, or less ambition. The acting seems terrible, but with that script and the low production values, anyone would have looked bad and I can't fault the actors for anything other than bad judgment for accepting the job.

One thing that stood out above all else for me was the poor quality of some of the action sequences. The (mercifully) short sword fight between two of the leading ladies was probably the worst fight I have ever seen on screen. For a director who has made a career as a stuntman and a fight choreographer, this is really puzzling. What happened? In one of the final scenes two supposedly expert fencers have a fight where they hack at each other with foils as if they're holding machetes. For a film that takes it's name from such a classic story of sword fighting excellence, this failure is an insult, and unforgivable.

I was warned before watching this that it was bad, so I had exceedingly low expectations. Even so, they were not met.

I never imagined getting frustrated watching a movie so pathetically made. I'm not sure what the producers are thinking using 3 musketeers as a title. they made a mockery on the original in order to gain a hype to watch this movie. I'm completely disgusted! if anyone is planning to see this movie, please spare your misery and don't watch this as this might just ruin your day. I suggest go out and have time with your family instead. All in all Fast forward button was my friend watching this movie. All in all I rate this movie 2 of 10. If you are to watch this movie, don't get your hopes high as you will definitely just waste your time.

Imagine taking the dialog from the balloons in a comic book and simply using it as a screenplay. Would it work? See this movie for an answer. The story of the 3 musketeers has been shoehorned into a paint-by-numbers spy/secret agent/commando story by assigning the names and some plot points of the original to the rather un-original characters and story of this deadly opus. I admit I didn't make it through the whole thing so I'll tell you what I saw before giving up in disgust. A crack team of "musketeers" has penetrated some major military installation in (I guess) China and is trashing their warlike computer which has been cleverly designed to resemble some high voltage switchgear. The location has been cleverly disguised as a factory or oil refinery or something with a lot of pipes. In the process our heroes kill the half dozen useless guards, blow up an airliner, a helicopter and a few other things. The computer whiz hacks an anti-aircraft gun with his tablet computer, poking the poor thing savagely with his index finger. A dozen jabs or so and he has logged onto Chinese wi-fi, cracked the firewall of the internet enabled gun, aimed it, fired it and blown up the enemy fighters, all with less keystrokes (finger pokes?) than it took YOU to get the movie to play! We never find out exactly why they caused all this havoc. Somehow they get back to safety where they regroup and meet up with the girl "musketeer" who is meditating in a brief two-piece swim suit, perhaps hoping to remember where she left the rest of her costume. The single sentence, comic book balloon style speech continues throughout this mayhem, branding all involved as 2-D cardboard totally disposable and boring characters. Even the sexy girl is uninteresting and dull.

At first I thought this would be a spoof of this type of story and looked forward to some entertaining gags. But no, this thing is apparently meant to be "for real" and we must suffer through the antics of two brainless lugs and one bimbo as they karate-chop their way through life.

This clunker has the appearance of a costly production, what with many 'splodin' things, flyovers of a big city, cgi space satellites and such, but it's still small enough to require the crew to post bogus favorable reviews, hoping to bolster the pathetic rating and maybe con a few credulous viewers into buying or renting this wretched dog! It's a stinker of the bottom tier! Avoid!