Bear Swamp Recovery

I always knew there would come a point when America's over-consumption of staged and tragically acted 'Reality' shows would finally pass through its grossly infected mega-colon. As always, after such a large movement, there's always the last vestige of ordure which lingers about. And that's precisely what Bear Swamp Recovery is.

A self-serving, morbidly obese, profusely sweating 'Billy Bunter' styled character offers his perceived glories and achievements of past heavy equipment repossessions, in typical American style: self-congratulatory and with huge pomposity and self-aggrandisement.

The few segments I've forced myself to endure were all pretty much the same. They begin with a several second long 'back story,' then fade to the Billy Bunter guy offering some sort of bon mot as to how he's going to successfully achieve his goal to 'repo' the targeted item.

Then the filming moves to the set-up of his 'team' doing something remarkable, dangerous, inane, implausible, etc., in taking the offending item. It's all about as sincere as watching 'Dog the Bounty Hunter,' holding a prayer session before the cameras.

The only benefit to having this show running for a few minutes is that it will allow you less distraction whilst you clip your toenails!

The short ads for this series by the network referenced their weight. They'd be shown dropping onto a tow truck and tipping it over. The show has since been exposed as fake, hence my title. Nearly each repo scenario plays out like an 80s or 90s kids movie, with a bad guy(property owner in default) siccing his henchmen on the good guys(the fat Italians). The only one who seems worth much isn't even in the Vinch family. He's one of their grantor guys, but he gets more done than the family combined. Yet he is rarely credited with much.

Their jokes suck. The only decent one was when PJ tried to convince his son to eat a salad instead of pizza. The son puts a pizza slice on a salad, deeming it part of the salad as a topping, then eats the slice. .