Christmas Bloody Christmas

This movie has to be taken with much more than a grain of salt, because it doesn't ask to be taken seriously.

So when an Christmas decoration - which was a plastic Santa Clause which mysteriously came to life - you know it's not going to be a serious movie.

There was no magic, no spells, just a very brief news flash talking about those particular decorations are being recalled.

It didn't say why.

What I saw was just a pretty 2 dimensional Santa with a plastic face that just said "HO-HO-HO" as you walked past it.

But then suddenly, and for absolutely no reason whatsoever, it comes to life a starts killing people with a variety of weaponry.

I could easily sit here and talk about how a decoration witch a motion sensor and a few phrases installed become self aware and immediately decide to murder people in the most horrific ways, but I won't.

I've got my handful of sand.

There's no storyline, it's just a horror thrown out in time for Christmas, and it's amusing enough.

But the T-800 Santa ain't playing games. I think he might very well be Cyberdine.

Because thus dude is relentless. He is a killer. He will not stop until he has completed his mission John Connor!

Yeah, so an anamatronic Santa that wasn't anamorphic, maybe in the head.

But basically he's out to kill everyone he sees... I don't know why and probably never will!

I'm not going to put spoilers in, because I don't think there are any.

You could probably read the bits I've written in a synopsis.

I love horrors.

I don't even care if they're dumb like this one.

I just love a horror.

Don't expect too much from this movie, because it does get more and more ridiculous. But I just killed 1:27:01 watching it.

It's definitely no masterpiece. But who cares?

Ho-Ho-Ho!

I didn't really know what to expect when I sat down to watch the 2022 horror movie "Christmas Bloody Christmas", but I must admit that I was somewhat intrigued by the movie's cover/poster. And there is just something oddly enjoyable about Christmas-based horror movies, isn't there.

So writer and director Joe Begos had every available chance to bedazzle and entertain me with this 2022 horror movie. And while the movie definitely was watchable, the movie was just somewhat lacking in the script department. It wasn't the most elaborate of storytelling that was going on here. Sure, it made for an okay enough viewing experience, but you're not in for a grand cinematic experience.

The acting performances in "Christmas Bloody Christmas" were fair enough. But again, it was pretty straight forward stuff going on, as the script didn't really call for the most elaborate and intricate of performances here really. I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, which is something I enjoy when watching movies.

Visually then "Christmas Bloody Christmas" was actually quite good. There was enough mayhem and mutilations in the movie to keep a veteran gorehound such as myself adequately entertained, and it almost made up for the lack of profound writing.

This is the type of horror movie that you watch once and most likely never will return to watch a second time. "Christmas Bloody Christmas" is definitely not going to be a reoccurring movie that I will be watching during the Christmas holidays. The one time I sat through the 81 minutes was sufficient.

My rating of "Christmas Bloody Christmas" lands on a five out of ten stars.

In "Christmas Bloody Christmas," the military-industrial complex has created a killer robot Santa. The movie begins with a series of fake TV ads for Christmas-themed promotions and events, and it's clear that something is going to go wrong with the RoboSanta+. The story follows disenchanted record store owner Tori Tooms as she fights against the evil robot Santa.

Unfortunately, the movie fails to improve once the deadly elf shows up. The action and kill scenes are muddy-looking and the 16mm cameras used for most of the filming are not effective. The best parts of the movie are the early scenes between Tori and her employee, Robbie, where they have a believable and tedious edge to their conversations.

Overall, the movie struggles to make the characters' seasonal disenchantment seem more real than the high-concept circumstances. The swear words, pop references, and counter-cultural poses that define Tori and Robbie's relationship are perfunctory and do not add to the story. While the writer and director clearly has affection for the characters, it is not enough to save the movie.

What a deeply unpleasant bunch of people inhabit this town. Pretty much every single character can't complete a single sentence without punctuating it with the f-bomb several times a syllable. Their interaction with each of their companions gives the word 'shallow' new depths of meaning. And when the Robot Santa begins his reign of axe-fuelled mayhem, you find yourself hoping that every one of the cast are gathered in one room so the slaughter will be quick and thorough, and we can present Robot Santa with a well-earned cup of tea and a medal for rescuing us from such a vacuous bunch of idiots.

If you are expecting what the trailer shows - a cheezy, blood, guts and gore movie about a military Santa running around killing people. Then, you'll like the movie. It's not pretending to be anything other than what it is.

I thought it was fun and campy, and of course a bit cliche, but that's what I was looking for.

It's the best Xmas movie I've seen in years!

If you're looking for some deeply intellectual entertainment - this is not for you.

RECOMMENDATION: grab a few beers, put the kiddies to bed, and enjoy some senseless Terminator style violence = just with more blood, and a worse story line!